Lost in the Lights

Chapter 10

Santana stomps her way over to Quinn's locker and slams it shut in one big huff. Quinn looks up from packing her duffle bag, annoyed confusion written all over her face.

"Problem, Lopez?"

Santana continues to grimace but looks hesitantly around the locker room, her brows furrowed and her shoulders stiff. Her chest feels tight with everything she's been holding in and she swears she's about to burst at the seams if she doesn't say something soon.

The squad filtered out minutes before and Brittany's still practicing on the field with the Titans, but she can never be too sure. Someone's always listening it seems and she can't be burned a second time.

"Hello?" Quinn waves her hand at Santana, "Is there a reason that you're going around slamming lockers?"

Santana can hear the annoyance in her tone but her facial expression says differently when their eyes finally meet. For as long as they've known each other, all it takes is one look to realized something deeper is going on.

Quinn softens, "Shit. What happened?"

Santana shakes her head and lets out the tiniest whimper, "I'm fucking this up."

Quinn catches Santana just as she stars to slide down the lockers in trembling mess. She pushes Santana to sit on the bench instead.

Hot tears start to stream down Santana's cheeks like the floodgates have finally opened. She hasn't let herself feel the brunt of everything yet, not until now. It's a little relieving, but it's not enough.

"What are you talking about?" Quinn asks.

"I'm fucking this up."

Quinn lets out a sigh but keeps holding Santana up as she continues to sob. Instead of pressuring her to talk, Quinn just let's the girl cry it out first.

\\

Once Santana has finally settled down some, Quinn hands her a couple tissues from the travel pack she keeps in her duffle. She eyes her wearily before trying to get an answer out of Santana again.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on now?"

Santana's averts her gaze to the ground. Her jaw is set and her lips are sealed as she wipes the angry tears from her face.

The reluctance to talk has Quinn rolling her eyes.

"Don't be stubborn. You've been in a bad mood all day then you go and do that," Quinn gestures to her locker, "Just tell me. Is it about your dad? Is he giving you a hard time again?"

Santana shakes her head.

Quinn thinks, "Is this about JBI's blog? Because I doubt anyone is believing a word he says after his whole tater tot conspiracy was a bust. He's already lost a ton of followers, I think he's just reaching now."

"It's not that."

"Okay...then what is it?"

Santana lets out a deep sigh, "She just wanted to talk and I couldn't even do that."

"Brittany?" Quinn asks hesitantly.

Santana nods.

"What'd she want to talk about?"

Santana threads her fingers together and squeezes, "Us."

Quinn looks confused, "And you couldn't talk about that because..."

"Why do you think?" Santana grumbles, "Because I'm a goddamn coward, that's why. She wanted to talk about us and what we were doing and I just – I couldn't."