Lost in the Lights

Chapter 13

It's the first day back to school after the short Thanksgiving break and Santana is as anxious as ever as she pulls into the Student Parking lot. School has been out since the football game against Crawford County and she knows everyone's bound to be talking about how she ran out on the field for Brittany. She's hoping that the buzz will have died down by now, but who knows – when it comes to drama, this town has a hard time forgetting.

After everything that happened with Bree and JBI, it's hard for Santana to not feel paranoid that everyone knows about her and Brittany's relationship now even if she hasn't told anyone other than her mom. She hasn't even told Quinn yet, but that feeling of everyone staring at her again and whispering whatever they want about her is a hard one to shake.

Although Santana can acknowledge it, she still struggles with letting that feeling take over versus simply not giving a single fuck about what anyone has to say.

All morning she has been trying to remember what everyone keeps telling her – that she isn't in this alone and there's a lot more people who care about her than she knows. Her hands still tremble a little though as she reaches for her make up bag and starts to apply mascara to her lashes.

Who cares if she wanted to kick Azimio and Karofsky's asses? She doubts she's the only one who thinks they deserve it! Who cares if she looked a little crazy running out on the field like that? She thought Brittany was seriously hurt, anyone with a heart would've done the same!

It's an easy argument to win when it comes to hashing it out in her head, but it's a different story when it actually happens and that's what worries her. She can just picture JBI trying to get some type of statement out of her while also making ridiculous claims. She can't punch him in the face – although she's sure she'd be doing the entire school a favor – because she's on thin ice with Principal Figgins and she definitely doesn't need even more reason for her dad to hate her.

Somehow, she has to maintain a level head when she walks through those doors this morning. But her? Keeping a level head? Santana's never been level-headed in her whole life!

Once she finishes with her lashes, Santana leans back and stares herself down in the rear view mirror. The girl looking back has been through hell – and as tired as she is – her journey isn't over just yet. It's only a matter of whether or not Santana can remember how strong she actually is, how resilient, how brave.

Santana takes a deep breath and digs around for lip gloss in her make up bag; embracing herself and being confident about it is a lot more easier said than done but she's just going to have to deal with it.

Suddenly a car pulls up next to Santana's and the Co-Captain glances in its direction. She's not all that surprised by the signature mega-watt smile Brittany's wearing as she slides off her sunglasses and gives Santana a little wave. For a moment, those scary anxious feelings that have plagued Santana all morning are momentarily replaced by a warmth, a fluttery feeling, that only her girlfriend seems to give her.

Her girlfriend; Santana can't help but smile. With Brittany by her side, Santana always feels a little different. It's like she stands taller, her chin is held higher and she feels more like herself.

Maybe this first day back to school won't be so bad? After all, doesn't have to do this alone.

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After leaning over to grab her bookbag from the passenger seat, Brittany hops out of her car. Santana's just now doing the same and Brittany rests against her hood as she waits, taking advantage of the warmth there as she folds her arms over her chest.

She has been thinking about this moment since the night she feel asleep listening to Santana sing; what will their first day back to McKinley as a couple be like and how will they handle it? Would Santana want Brittany to keep her distance at first? Are they allowed to hold hands? Is PDA off the table?