undercover - Steve Rogers

chapter 8 - crashing down

The next three days consisted of the same thing, sympathy, daily walks, no running, Steve watching Toy Story with Lennox, therapy twice a day with Dr. Paige, restless nights, more IVs, crying, and the Avengers siamotainously checking in on her. Clint face-timed her a few times and she was able to talk to everyone, Lila showed her the new toy bow and arrow.

Today was the same thing except she would hopefully be able to leave the hospital room. Steve came into the room holding balloons that were decorated in cowboy attire.

"Real funny, Buzz." She rolled her eyes as she slowly got out of bed, Lennox proudly gained two more pounds and therapy was working her attitude towards Dr. Paige was getting much better and she was accepting that she really needed this help and that she was worth it.

"I thought so." He laughed teasingly.

"Haha." She fake laughed. "So i heard a big strong superhero was going to move my stuff to my room, so where's Sam and the rest of the team?"

"I'm the big strong superhero." He gasped, putting his hand to his heart in fake hurt. "Yeah i'll come back to get them, Wanda is excited to show you your room, so let's go there first." She smiled at him and grabbed her balloons from his hand. The two walked through the many hallways to the first bedroom hallway.

Wanda met up with the two of them and forced Lennox to close her eyes, Nat just walked along side the group. Wanda opened the door excitedly and Vision stood smiling in the room.

"You remind me of someone who likes rustic things." Wanda added, "Do you like it because if not we can change it."

"I love it, i do like the rustic feel. It feels homey." Lennox side hugged the girl to thank her. Lennox honestly had no idea what her taste in decorations was, but the rustic feel calmed her, it gave the vibe she was in the barn at the Barton's house. The place where she would go just to have her own space.

"I have training with Sam and Rhodey, but i'll check on you after." Steve announced, Lenna sent him a small smile and Wanda, Natasha, and Vision followed him out. She was alone. But for once she didn't feel alone in her heart, she felt almost complete in her heart knowing all of them put this much effort just to make sure she felt comfortable.

She walked around the room, she had a vanity with plenty of light. She wasn't much of a makeup person but when she did dress up and do her makeup she killed it. Lennox preferred mascara and sweats, or athletic clothes. If she was dressing up she usually didn't wear a dress, she would go for more of a dress pants and a blouse, along with flats or heels.

On the other side of the room was her bathroom and closet, the bathroom had a minimalistic look. Basic and solid colors. Her closet was filled with some of her clothes but mainly new clothes that had been bought for her.

Her phone started ringing, the phone screen read "Facetime call from little red riding hood"

Lennox answered her brothers call, Clint and Lila were making funny faces when she answered it.

"What are you two goofballs doing?" She laughed out her question.

"Li, wanted to show you the picture she made." Clint responded, Lila held up a photo of a ladybug.

"Do you like it?" Lilas sweat voice asked.

"Do i like it? I love it." Lennox responded, "You should color me a picture for my room here, it needs some color in here."

"Okay." Lila ran off to get her coloring supplies.

"How are you doing over there?" Clint questioned his sister.

"I'm doing good, everyone here is amazing and this place is nice, therapy is not so bad, the food here is good like rich people good."

"So you are eating more?" His question was sincere but Lennox wasn't quite sure how to answer such a personal question.

"Yeah, i'm trying."

"Sometimes trying is the only thing we can do, i'm proud of you Lenna. I'll call you later Nate is crying." The call was ended.

Lennox fell onto her bed, surprised about how comfortable it is. She had therapy in an hour, every time she went Lennox wasn't sure what to talk about but today she knew what she wanted to talk about. She was going to talk about Hydra, finally get it out of her system. Lennox hoped that hopefully this would help get rid of some of the pain. The pain that made her miserable inside, it wrecked her. Dr. Paige was the only person that she felt comfortable with telling the extreme personal details with. Sure, she told Steve some things but that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Steve doesn't know about how she had to shower with men watching, or how the experiments could have stopped all of her chances of getting pregnant, or how she was forced to train with the agents until she harmed them or killed them because of not they would have killed her. Or the constant words that made her brainwashed to hate herself, or the trust issues she has developed in the past years. Maybe the deaths she had witnessed. The constant fear that this could be your last moment on this world, any moment they could have found out she was leaking all their secrets or that they just killed at random.

It was her fault that she felt all these things, she chose to purposely be taken by the Hydra agents so she could go undercover. In reality it wasn't her fault, it was Hydras fault. Lennox wasn't supposed to be there that long but Hydra would find her if she didn't go back. She didn't want other agents to go through the things she had been through or seen because she chose to leave and S.H.I.E.L.D. would send another undercover agent in. Lennox was blinded by the fact she was helping the "good side" while she was in there not thinking about the scars she would have when she got out. But in Lennox's defense she never thought she would make it out of the Hydra Base alive. Until she did, she was utterly shocked she made it out of there and stole a car.

She told Dr. Paige everything, their session lasted over an hour. Lennox cried all of her tears out, Dr. Paige is doing her all to help Lennox because if anyone deserves happiness it was this girl. The girl who risked her life day and night to make sure S.H.I.E.L.D. had all the information so her family and other families across the world could be safe.

The walk back to her room she walked behind Steve's body so no one would see her flushed face from crying. Steve didn't ask any questions, as soon as he saw her he knew Lennox wasn't going to talk about it, so they walked in silence back to her room where she went straight to sleep. Steve slept outside the door of her room to make sure she wasn't alone and incase she needed something. There was just something about Lennox that pulled Steve in.