Chap 20.

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*Shadow's POV*

With the pressure feeling from inside my chest gone the humming sound ceased I laid there and slowly opened my eyes, looking straight up. Where my chest had felt entirely too tight and heavy it now felt... open. As if I could take deeper breaths than I could before. I felt like if I yelled my voice would ring louder. I felt like I was more than what I was before and suddenly... things that haddnt mattered so much to me mattered so much more.
I had a will to live. I no longer felt it was a shame to still be alive after all I'd been through... wait... all I'd been through. Hadn't Gabrielle said that my past would catch up to me now?
My thoughts seemed to race and twist and swirl inside my head, as if there was so much more room for them up there now but they seemed to settle on a memory of my mother, her once kind face twisted in anger as she yelled at my father, throwing curses drunkenly at him in Spanish as he stood before her, gun in hand and pointed at her.
"And to do this in front of our daughter! In front of our Ele..." she was cut off as my father pulled the trigger and the shot went right through her left eye.
I watched as my mother stumbled back and crumbled onto the floor from my hiding place behind the sofa and I covered my little mouth and whimpered, but otherwise I didn't seem to react much.
That was when my father turned his gaze on me and I blinked up at him. His eyes that had once been such a comfort to me were now wild and crazy. He was clearly tweaked out on his "special medicine" as he called it.
I thought at first he would turn his gun on me but instead he shook his head and stormed out and I never saw him alive again.

The memory was so vivid that I could have sworn I was looking right at it, that I was small and hiding behind the sofa once more, watching the whole thing.
I brought my hand to my mouth and covered it, my body trembling as tears filled my eyes and I let them roll down the sides of my face, still just staring at the marvel ceiling.
I was yanked away from my thoughts as I felt a hand gently grip my shoulder and I gasped and sat up, turning to look Gabrielle in the eyes.
He was smiling gently, not his usual smirk thank goodness but he looked a bit... I'd suppose concerned? Reading his expressions was a little difficult as they all seemed to have an under tone of arrogance. God I hated him, even concerned with my well being he still looked cocky.
I paused before I said anything and I looked down. I still hated him. I still... I still loved Lucifer and I still loved the friends I had made but now...now those feeling didn't feel heavy! They felt fantastic! Energizing instead of utterly exhausting! Oh I couldn't wait to tell Lucifer!
I was still me. I was still his.
Gabrielle helped me off the marble slab and tilted my chin up to look him in the eyes. "How does it feel?" He asked.
"Intense...very intense. Everything feels...more."
He chuckles and so do the others around him which again sends an electric chill down my spine.
"Welcome to being truly alive shadow dear." He said gently, patting the top of my head. "You should rest now. Come. I'll show you to your room."
He turned and lead me from the room into the halls, as we left the other angels went back to their discussions which were silenced to me as the door shut behind us.
I was lead down the halls to another identical door and inside was a bedroom much like Gabrielle's. It was comfortable looking and my bag had been brought in there and laid on the bed next to my clothes I'd been wearing earlier that had been washed and folded neatly.
I step inside and over to the bed to sit on the edge. "So how long before I can go home?"
"We want to keep an eye on you for the next few days if that's alright. We want to make sure the soul sits wells so to speak." He said, closing the door behind him and snapping his fingers. The light pouring from the windows dimming and seemingly turning to night as the candles around the room lit to keep it from becoming too dark.
"Oh... ok I guess..." I say with a shrug. That did give me a little time to execute my plan.
He smiled and patted the top of my head, smoothing down my wild curls.
"It's a lovely little soul. Some of our best work." He bragged and I had to fight myself to resist rolling my eyes at him.
"It does feel nice. Wish I could see it."
He smiled and knelt down to be more on my level, he was very tall after all. He held a hand over my chest and I felt something like the pressure again as he pulled his hand back a little and he seemed to pull a swirling ball of golden light from my chest.
I blinked in fascination as I looked at it.
"This here is a human soul. It holds a record of your life from the moment our father conceived you in thought and began making you." He explained as I reached up to touch it, feeling a gentle warmth take over me. It was so...alive. Like a flame in a fire, dancing away and fluttering about in his hand.
I watched as he replaced it and he stood. "You should rest now my dear. I'll come collect you in the morning and show you around some." He said, taking my hand and kissing it gently before turning and heading for the door.
"Goodnight." He said before stepping out and leaving me to my thoughts. How did I get here?

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