You're Not Alone\\ Jikook ff

Ex Step-

Jimin said he loves me and I believe him. I just can't say it back. I'm terrified that once I do everything will crumble.

I'm honestly happy that he came back into my life but I'm scared that he could easily just walk away. After the accident and I was left alone a part of me was forever broken.

I already knew about my mothers countless relationships but when I was torn away from people that genuinely liked me it was a different type of pain.

Mr.Kim wanted me to stay he wanted me to be apart of his family even without my mom. His sons didn't look at me as an outsider but as a brother.

I would cry countless nights for the loss of my father along with Jimin and his family. The 4 of them all cared for me and comforted me whenever I would wake up screaming.

Not once did my mother come to comfort me. She would yell and cuss at me to stop being a brat and go to bed. So many nights she would try and pull Mr.Kim back into their room but he refused till I went back to sleep.

She blamed me for taking Mr.Kim's attention away from her. She blamed me because she needed to feel loved from someone else because she wasn't getting it from her husband. I was blamed for her adultery.

Mr.Kim didn't blame me for anything unlike most of my moms husbands after him. It was like the longer I was with her the more hateful her and my stepfathers became.

I'm actually surprised she hasn't kicked me out yet. From all the hate and shade she has thrown my way I thought I would be on my own the second I turned 18. For someone that hates my existence so much she sure likes to keep me around.

Right now I was back home eating dinner. Kai and Jackson on both sides of me as our parents were across from us.

"So where were you yesterday? You didn't come home." My mother asked as she blew the disgusting smoke out of her mouth.

"I was ah.......at my boyfriend's." Silence suffocating me more than the toxic smoke that fogged the air. Jimin told Kai and Jackson but I could tell they were more scared about their reaction.

"Say that again." My mom spoke as she squeezed her fork with a harsh glare directed right at me.

I don't know why I decided to tell her the truth. I could of just said I was at a friends and that would of been that. Even when I went to Jamie's for the night I said I was at a friends. Sure she was pissed but she didn't have this look on her face.

I think I just don't care anymore. I'm nothing but a burden, a crippled son for her to blame her horrible choices on. It's about time I start chasing something or someone that makes me happy and finally not care what she will think.

"I said I was at my boyfriends house." I said louder with a smile as I looked back into her glaring eyes.

"Was it that boy from school that you brought here?" Kai and Jackson's father asked me. He was rubbing his forehead like he had a bad headache.

"Yes." I spoke confidently.

"Will you look at that not only do you have a boy in a wheelchair but he is gay. No wonder he can't walk he's too busy taking it up the ass." My stepfather laughed hard as he nudged my mom's arm but her glare was to strong to put a smile on.

"Dad! That is completely uncalled for!" Jackson rose to his feet as his knuckles turned white from his fist.

"Sit.Down."

"No. We will not just sit down anymore as you both constantly degrade our Brother!" Kai yelled full of anger.

Wait? Brother? He.....they think of me as a brother? Sure the Kim brothers hated it when I refer to them as step brothers or ex step brothers but I wasn't expecting to hear this....from them. I shut them out for so long when I first met them.

I have had so many siblings and was so tired of learning names. Their father basically ordered Jackson to be my crippled caretaker. He was made to help me with showers. However looking back on our time together he never once complained. Jackson never left until he knew I was okay.

Kai was different we were the same age and then he was forced to share a college with me. After I switched to his campus he always tried to talk with me and walk with me. Trying to introduce me to people but I just shut him out.

Even when he was trying to help me all I did was shut him and Jackson out. I only let them in a bit when we smoked together. Even if we barely spoke I took comfort in not drowning in my own thoughts. They would talk to one another and I found myself just listening to their brotherly bond and bickering even when I never attempted to take part.

Just like with the Kim brothers I tried to make myself like a fly on the wall. Don't get attached and don't let them get attached to you.

When I was 5 I met my first step sibling even though she was technically my third. She was 3 years older. My dad set it up with her dad my mother never showed. Our dads would let us get together twice a month. She was everything I ever hoped for a sibling. Kind,sweet, funny, and protective.

It was heartbreaking when my dad said we weren't family anymore. Even though we had a bond her father wanted nothing to do with us anymore. I never saw her again.

After that I never cared to meet another step sibling. It wasn't until my father died that I was forced to live with my mother.

Just everything about having someone brought into your life then they vanish soon after over and over again. It's a lot. It made me not want to try. Not want to care.

Yet looking back on this past year living with Kai and Jackson maybe I could try and let them in or more like let myself out. I've made myself be alone for so long not even trying to make a friend.

I'm trying to see the Kim brothers as friends now but it's hard when they see me as more. I'm scared to put down my walls

Jimin was able to let me see him as someone that doesn't want to walk away. Maybe just maybe Jin, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jackson and Kai don't want to walk away from me either.

"Hey where the hell are you going?!" Their dad yelled as Jackson just grabbed me out of my chair.

"We are leaving! To get away from you and your toxic wife!" To say that I was shocked was an understatement. Everyone except Kai basically dropped their jaws to what he just said.

Jackson recovered in a matter of seconds and continued to carry me out of the house.

"W-wait what about my chair?!" I asked frantically clinging onto his shirt.

"Don't worry Kai will get it I just wanted you out of the house as soon as possible."

"But....but why are you doing this? That is your home."

"Nope that was just a house filled with smoke and hate."

"Wait up!" Jackson turned us around to see Kai running after us with my folded wheelchair and a backpack.

They didn't even wait to set the chair back up. Jackson sat me down in the passenger seat. Kai basically threw our stuff in the van just as our parents were screaming at us from the house. Jackson turned on the ignition and quickly drove away.

They do care. Maybe I can start caring for them as well.