You're Not Alone\\ Jikook ff

Pity

It's been a week since we left the house. Jackson paid for a hotel room. It's a single queen size bed and a small chair by the window.

Jackson gave Kai and I the bed and he asked for an air mattress for the floor. Both Kai and I tried to switch with him but he refused the offer with a smile.

I was nervous at first with some flashbacks of me and Jamie coming to my mind. However nothing was uncomfortable the three of us talked until we fell asleep.

I heard Kai apologize to me a few times every night but he just said he kept accidentally touching my leg with his. No matter how many times I laughed and reminded him I can't feel it he still apologizes.

For the first few days Kai and I didn't go to college we signed into the online classes. Jackson only took one day off from his job so he could go back to the house and get some essentials. Kai took two trips with him as well.

I gave them a small list of what I absolutely didn't want to leave behind and thankfully they found every one of them. Jackson thought of everything I would need too.

My seat that I use for my showers. My favorite outfits. He got both mine and Kai's laptops so we could do our work. He grabbed all of our textbooks and learning utensils. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, Combes, and brushes. Let's not forget body soap, shampoo, conditioner, our facial skin care products, deodorant, cologne and for me perfume. I've always preferred the smell of sweet things than like axe body spray.

Jimin knows what happened I guess Kai messaged him a few minutes after we left the house. I didn't know that Jimin got so tight with them that they would so easily text each other. Kai probably figured I wouldn't tell Jimin right away. He isn't wrong but still. He is my boyfriend I should be able to tell him when I'm ready.

Let's just say the moment I saw him at college he bombarded Kai and I with questions. Jackson was saved since he had to get to work running a bit late since the hotel is about 30 minutes further away from our old house. It was the cheapest we could afford. When I say we I mean Jackson and Jackson alone.

"So how are you doing?" I looked around the lunch table and all 6 of them are looking at me with so much pity. I hate pity.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"God Jin stop! I'm as fine as I was yesterday and the day before! Okay?! Now please just stop looking at me like I'm a kicked wounded bunny!"

The cafeteria got so quiet and it's all because of me. Every single person stopped their own private conversations to look at me. Some with a WTF face but most looked at me then my chair and pity was in their eyes. I've seen it most of my life and it's not something I can stand to see.

I quickly looked at the guys shocked faces. Jin though he looked so so hurt. It pained me to see that I made him hurt.

"Hy-"

"No. You're right. Now I know you've been right all along. I'm not your hyung. I'm not your brother. I'm not even a step-brother....I'm an ex-step-brother. We aren't even really friends either. Come Namjoon, Taehyung we aren't wanted here." The three of them sent sad looks my way with so much disappointment on their faces. They took their lunch trays and walked away only to sit separately from one another because there was no table left they could sit at together.

Our table stayed silent and awkward. Hobi hyung and Yoongi hyung's kept stealing glances at each other with wide eyes. Jimin didn't touch me once or try and comfort me. Probably thought I would snap at him too and he would be right but it hurts too that there wasn't an attempt.

"I.....I think I should leave." I barely made a sound at all as I rolled myself away and out the doors.

"Are you really not going after him." Yoongi hyung asked.

"I don't want to push him away." I confessed as I continued to eat my food.

"Remember when I said he is used to pushing people away so they don't have a chance to walk away?" I just nodded my head for Yoongi hyung to continue. "Well this is a perfect example. Him Kai and their other brother are living in a hotel. Everything had changed for him once again."

"Also not sure if you noticed the other students looks but they weren't of concern. The moment he shows any anger or emotion he gets looked at differently. I wouldn't want to be here either."

"Hobi is right. Yes Jin hyung wanted to help be there but he was never really let in in the first place." Yoongi stood up and walked over to each Kim brother and one by one they all came back with an almost unreadable face but their eyes showed sadness. "Okay thanks for sitting here again."

Each one gave a quiet nod just looking at their barely touched food.

"Where did he run off to?" Jin hyung asked quietly.

"Don't know. But I wanted to ask how was he when you first met him? Like was he talkative?" Yoongi asked getting everyone's attention.

"No. He was really quiet. Always wanted to be by himself." Namjoon hyung answered.

"Did he ever mention anything from before the accident?" I really wanted to know if I was brought up.

"He talked a little bit about running with his friend in the park. Besides small stuff like that he barely spoke to us."

"Yeah but he spoke to dad." Namjoon hyung interrupted Taehyung turning to look at the rest of us. "Our dad and Jungkook really got along. With every nightmare Jungkook had our dad was the one to comfort him."

"Did he have nightmares a lot?" Hobi hyung asked before I could.

"Almost every night. We shared a room at that time since we were closer in age. Most of my nights were just running out the room to get my dad. Then I couldn't sleep until Jungkook finally went to sleep."

"I was sad when his mom took him away. I wanted to be a better brother to him. I thought he would open up to us if he stayed longer but we never got the chance. Then Taehyung surprised us by pushing his wheelchair and him to us. I thought maybe just maybe we could be brothers but.-"

"But he was still shut off maybe even more than when we were kids." Taehyung interrupted his eldest brother while he played with his food just pushing the food around with his fork.

"I think I should go and find him now. Hopefully he has cooled off." I gave a soft smile while I stood up to leave.

"Jimin just remember no matter how hard he pushes you away don't give up. He is scared everyone will walk away don't prove his fears to be right."

I didn't respond to Yoongi hyung I know he is right. I regret not following or comforting Kookie earlier I just didn't know what to do exactly.

Kookie I will prove to you that I'm here to stay and won't walk away.