How Dare You [ReidxReader]

(9) Takeoff

note: TW intrusive thoughts, drug use

Hotchner getting on your nerves, your newly found jealousy of JJ, your confusion about Reid. You really try to keep it together. You really try.

What confusion though? You like him, it's cool to spend time with him.

You make until Thursday evening. Then you just give up. After sitting on your sofa for solid thirty minutes, staring at the wall, you decide to get fucked up. You throw yourself off the wagon. You change into a short dress. Searching in your dresser, you look for your sock with coke in it.

You call yourself an uber and make a neat line on the kitchen counter. After downing a generous shot of vodka, you bow down and snort it all up. You only take your keys with you, pushing them into the side of your bra.

In the uber you start to fidget. Restlessly bouncing your leg and tapping your fingers on the window. You paid the uber in advance and get out without another word. The bouncer of the club merely looks at you and lets you in immediately.

Feeling the loud music echo in your chest, you make your way to the dancefloor. Already high out of your mind, you start to jump and dance. You lost all track of time when you feel someone behind you.

You turn around, seeing a guy, blond, easy on the eyes, smiling at you. Pushing down the cruel thought of wishing that it were Reid, you put your arms around his neck and dance with him.

He guides you to the bar, holding your hand, and orders shots. "Nick." He introduces himself. "Emily." You yell back and shake is hand. Nick grins at you and pays the bartender. You take both shots and down them. Stunned, he stares at you.

"Oh, those weren't for me?"

He lets out a laugh and orders more.

Nick wants to dance again, you follow him. On the dance floor, you sway around, touching his shoulders now and then.

Suddenly, someone grabs your waist and lets their hands wander all over your back. You turn around. Too high, to assess the situation properly, you immediately punch them in the face. Hard.

The guy stumbles back. Holding his cheek, he shouts: "Crazy bitch!"

Nick seemingly wants to defuse the situation and grabs you by the elbow to pull you away. Wrong move though, touching you there.

Relentlessly, your brain sends shocks through your body. You ram your elbow into his chest and rip your arm out of his grip. "Fuck!" He groans.

By now, a lot of people look at you. Quickly, you make your way through the crowd and to the exit. The cold air almost knocks you over. Leaning against the wall, you take a few deep breaths.

Only now you realize, that in your frenzy, your brilliant idea of only taking your keys, means you have no way of calling or paying an uber or taxi. You rub your face and look around. The next metro station is a few blocks away but riding without a ticket would be a stupid thing to have in your personnel file.

Cursing, you start to walk back to your apartment.

- - - - - - - - - -

The ringing of your alarm violently pierces into your brain. You don't know how long you slept. The throbbing pain in your head lets you know that it probably wasn't much. You down a bottle of water and do your best to appear put together.

Grabbing your steering wheel, makes you notice how bad your hand looks. Shit. You flex it a few times. It doesn't hurt that much.

You try to hide it in your pocket but working with profiles lets you get away with it for only so long. "What happened to your hand?" JJ asks worried.

"Went a little too hard on a punching bag."

"You mean, you didn't punch glass for once?" Morgan annoys you.

You shoot him a deadly look: "Want to be next?"

Spencer walks over from the coffee machine: "Did you sleep under eight hours?"

"What makes you say that?" You ask, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Reid explains unnecessarily: "You look tired."

"Can you all just mind your own business?" You snap.

Seeing the shocked look in Spencer's eyes makes you instantly regret it. However, you don't say anything else and turn back to your files.

- - - - - - - - - -

Just before noon, you get called on a case. Flying is even more painful than...just existing.

Halfway to Huston, you go to the bathroom, trying not to run, and throw up in the toilet.

"Fuck." You whisper to yourself. A look in the mirror makes you wonder how you even made it this far. You wash your face and sort out your hair. At least you managed to put on fresh clothes this morning.

You gargle water several times, not really getting rid of the disgusting taste in your mouth. After several deep breaths, you exit the bathroom. When you walk over to the coffee machine, Spencer follows you.

Straight away, he asks: "Did I do something to anger you?"

"No, I- I just had a bad night. Sorry." You take your coffee and try to squeeze past him to walk back to your seat. Spencer blocks your way, and you bump into his shoulder. You just stare into his eyes, getting lost in them. You see his mouth move but are way too entranced by his smell to listen.

"Emily?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"Yeah, sorry. What did you say?"

Whispering, Spencer repeats his question: "Did you take something last night?"

You stare back, but he doesn't move. "Yeah"." You finally admit.

He looks you up and down, it makes you feel naked.

"Cocaine?"

You swallow hard: "Please stop asking."

"I worry." He pleads.

You have to try extremely hard not to cry: "I know."