Her Name Is Havoc

Three months ago

    I wake up to a noise in my kitchen. A burglar? But what will he get from the kitchen, stupid! Get smart. A hungry burglar? Now this could be a possibility.
    I scramble to my feet and put some pajama pants on before hurrying to the kitchen. I tried recalling where I last dropped my baseball bat off when I caught a glimpse of her, standing in my kitchen, working on something, swaying with whatever beat playing, and welcoming butterflies to my stomach. I couldn't see her face yet, but I knew she looked breathtakingly beautiful just like always and cringed at the anticipation.
     Before I noticed, my feet were already taking me to the only destination I would've desired. And just about a couple of meters away from her, I hit my little toe in the counter and started jumping like a toddler kangaroo figuring out his choices in life. What a precise metaphor.
    She, obviously, noticed my approach and started giggling. In every giggle, I could hear her calling me an idiot. I am an idiot. For thinking I could ever be good enough.
"You attract noise, don't you?" she asked, still laughing.
"It just finds its way to me," I said still slightly jumping.
"Well cut it off and let me jam! This song is awesome."
"Okay. But...well... don't get this in the wrong way, but what are you doing here?"
"Baking!" she said, looking at me with a wide, sheepish, smile that made that lumpy heart of mine skip a beat.
"Baking?"
"Yes. A chocolate cake. A birthday cake, you moron. Happy birthday!" and she looked back to the mixing bowl.
    My heart skipped about three more beats then broke. I only knew that because I heard it. Shatter. Pieces hovering everywhere inside my restricting rib cage. I grasped for the breath I didn't deserve. I held on to it afraid it would let go and leave me throttling at nothing but vacuum and hazel's words. Oh, what a merry death.
"Thank you," is all I manage.
"You're welcome, sir. Now get yourself a proper shower till I finish this cake. I am taking you somewhere today," she said, without looking.
"Like on a picnic?"
"Something like that."
     I nodded, not minding the fact that she can't see that.
"Okay," I said, still holding on my breath.
     I make my way towards the bathroom but then stop midway.
"Hazel?"
"Huh?"
"I love you."
"You sure as hell do! I spent like two hours figuring out how to make that damn cake! You should love me forever, dumbass."
     I laugh to myself as I finally let go of that possessive breath.
"I will."
     She seemed ignorant to my reply. Or maybe too busy. It's just a phrase, you know. Something sweet you tell your partner. Something cringe-worthy and cheesy. I just didn't know how to make her understand that I was just being candid. That I was speaking my heart out. When I said I will love her forever, I meant it.
     I got into the shower, and, once finished, I hopped into fresh pajama pants and a white V-cut T-shirt. I wanted to act casual but couldn't help my excitement, so I somewhat jogged back to the kitchen.
"Wow. That was one fast shower!"
"I don't waste my time," and I winked.
"You should really stop winking at me it's annoying."
"Deep inside, you keep praying I wink soon because I am so damn attractive when I do it and you just can't handle it. Tell me I am wrong?"
"Just get lost," she said looking away after displaying her famous, disgusted frown.
      I cross the distance between us in just one step and hug/squeeze her from the back. I tend to squeeze her these days because I am somewhat incapable of believing that she's really with me and that this isn't a dream.
"HEY! Someone is trying to be productive here. Let me finish this cake, will you?"
"Sorry," I say, as I break away from her, "I just can't explain how grateful I am. This is the first time someone celebrated my birthday in so many years."
"Oh," she looked at me somewhat pitifully, "that's sad. I can relate."
"Really? Haven't you been dating someone before?"
"Haven't you?"
"Not really."
"Me too. Not really," and she turned away.
"May I ask you why?"
"May I?"
"You can ask me anything," I lied praying to god to not have to lie to her again.
"I can't agree to that. Let's just drop the subject."
     I sighed in relief.
"And I am done. Now will put that in the oven."

                         *********************

"A rooftop?" I asked, half surprised and half excited.
"Yes. You don't like it?"
"No I love it. The view is mesmerizing. Thank you. But how did you find out about this place?"
"Let's say an old friend used to live here and he invited me once."
"So you have friends?"
"Had."
     Seemed like she won't share more information so I didn't push it further.
"Let's play a game," she said.