Dear Adam,
I have nightmares about you. I envision I'm there in the bathroom watching you take the pills, consume the alcohol, and cut your skin until the water fades from a bright pink to a dark red. Your eyes just stare back at me as words fly from your mouth even though your dead. And I'm just standing there, my feet glued to the ground. I shout at you, but you don't hear me.
All you say is," You did this to me, You made me into something I'm never wanted to be" I feel like your twisting the things I said and turning them against me. Now I'm not so sure if I'm innocent. Every day I feel more and more guilty. Every day the pain increases and so do the pills, drinks, and parties.
I can't feel like this anymore.
There are days when I just scream and scream at the photographs, at the ways, at my reflection in the mirror and other days I don't speak at all, because I'm just so numb that I'm afraid if my mouth moves, my voice won't work with it. And that would be entirely sad, if I couldn't speak without breaking down on the floor.
Some days I stand on the old abandoned bridge and decide whether or not to jump into the depths of the rocky waters below. The wind blows atr my body, as I stand on the edge, tears streaming down my face, but then you come up to my mind abnd I step back down. I feel like I have to stay alive, that this is the one promise I can keep and hold. After all, I seem to be horrible at making people stay.
From,
Bailey
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Dear Adam, (#2 in series)
Genç KurguIn which an unfixable girl writes to a dead boy. "You were a hurricane ," {Sequel to "Dear Bailey,"} WARNING: story may be a trigger
