Dear Adam, (#2 in series)

38

Dear Adam,

Today was the first day someone's called me beautiful in a while.

It went like this...

It was just another normal, depressing day. Another day that your not here standing next to me, laughing at my corny jokes or checking my wrists. Yeah... you wouldn't find any thing if you checked them now. Mom almost found out last time. It's been a month since I've cut on my wrist. I've become more creative, now there are stairways that run up my thighs.

So I was wearing your old basketball shorts, they were your favorite black Adidas ones. I even wore your white and black Adidas shirt, of coarse your cologne had been sprayed all over it. My hair was up, and I'm proud to say this was my messiest bun yet. It took birds nest to a whole new level.

I was eating a slice of pizza as Sawyer came and sat next to me, I guess my shorts had ridden up a bit because his hand was against my thigh in seconds as he yanked up my shorts and examined my thigh. I quickly pulled the material back down, and stared at my barely touched food. I pushed away my tray and got up to throw it away. I quietly slipped out of the hall and ran into the girls bathroom.

"Bailey, why." He asked.

"Shit happens," I replied as I stared into the wall mirror. Who was even looking back at me? She looked dead.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?"

Silence.

"Okay maybe you don't, but i know you are,"

"Sawyer, you're in the girls bathroom,"

"Yes, I understand,"

"Sawyer, please leave,"

"Is that what you want? Because, Bailey, I know right now you need me to stay. I know you don't want me to leave I see how inhumane they treat you. And god damn it, you deserve so much better,"

"No I don't. Please don't say things that aren't true,"

"I don't lie,"

"Well I guess I have to see it to believe it,"

"Bailey, don't go around saying things like that,"

"What? In order to be beautiful you need to see it yourself. Beauty isn't what someone else thinks, it's what you yourself thinks. Please just go,"

"Fine, but I'm not going to say goodbye. I'm not leaving. I'm here. Always. Whenever you need me,"

I didn't even get to say thank you because the bathroom door was already swinging shut when I turned around.

Adam, words cover the bathroom stalls, their all about you and i. But they say bad things about me, they've got you on some pedestal so high up. And I'm just here, another speck of dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

I guess no one would really care if I left.

Sad,
Bailey