Citrus [completed]

Chapter 36

I don't know why I woke it. Maybe it was because of a subtle thud from the living room. Maybe it was because I had reached into the space where Vanessa should have been. Instead, I grasped at the empty sheets. Immediately my eyes popped open, and I came upon my elbow to glance, tired, around the room. I look towards the bathroom, the lights are out.

I hear shuffling towards the living room and I immediately throw myself towards my shirt, pulling it on. I'm thankful that it falls to my thighs. I open the door and peer down the hallway. I have no clue where Leo could have been but the entire apartment is dark and quiet except the kitchen. I make my way slowly towards the room. There I see Vanessa, fully dressed in a long white peacoat. She's struggling to loop the tag through her bag handle.

She huffs once, smacking her hand lightly onto the table. I watch as she silently fumes, looking as if she's a few seconds from throwing something. Vanessa quietly curses again, before snatching her phone out of her pocket. I lean onto the doorway, just watching her prepare to leave.

My heart sinks a bit. Vanessa, my sweet, caring girlfriend was going to leave me naked in her bed. She would slip away while I was asleep and leave me to wake up alone in an empty apartment. When she drags her hand through her hair, I can't stare at her anymore. If I memorize her beautiful face any more than I already have, I'll die.

"So you're still leaving?" I whisper at her. She whips around, surprised at being caught. Vanessa looks like she's been caught in a crime. In our relationship, Vanessa was the heavy sleeper, She knows that I'm a light sleeper and still took the risk of sneaking off. Hurt stabs me through the chest.

For a few seconds, I just lean against the door and I access how I feel. Numb. That's the best way to describe this. Like expanding pit of nothing starting from my stomach expanding all over.

"Did our relationship mean nothing to you?" I whisper wretchedly into the quiet apartment. I can't stop myself from asking as I stare at her. My question causes Vanessa to rear back a bit. Her eyes are wide as she leans onto the counter behind her.

"What," She whispers hauntingly. I can't help but laugh humorlessly as I hug myself tighter. My limbs are shaking

"Was it not enough for you," I ask as I feel tears well up in my eyes. But I'll be damned before a single tear falls out of my eyes again. She had seen my tears and all she had done last night was wipe them away before committing the same act that caused them.

Vanessa doesn't say anything as she bites her lip. She slowly closes her eyes as if she is in pain. But she doesn't get to do that. Not when she's putting us through this. My head bangs back against the wall as I begin to hyperventilate slightly.

"I don't know how I keep doing this to myself. I throw everything into my relationships. I threw all my love but that is never enough is it," I chuckle bitterly as I glare towards the door over her shoulder. I don't care when Vanessa pushes off the counter. I still don't care when I notice Vanessa begins to seethe.

"Don't throw that shit at me," Vanessa said, tossing her phone onto the counter, fully facing me, "I am not your past relationships." She hisses at me. I glare at her in return. She's not the only one who can be angry about this situation. The only problem is she drove us here.

"I am not Angel. Don't compare me to her," Vanessa bares her teeth in annoyance before raking her hands through her hair again. It tangles on her fingers and a few strands pull out with the force she used.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You're leaving because what? You're tired of being here?" I ask her. I can't help my rising voice as I ask her. I still don't know why she's leaving, what broke the camelback for her.