No Such Thing

Chapter 17

Playlist:
Gold Lion - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Under Your Spell - Desire
Wait - M83

• "Doll, what in god's name are you wearing?" Jace popped his gum like a high school mean girl as he looked me up and down. He swung by my house to pick me up so we could head to his band's latest gig at this local bar together. My outfit was perfectly fine. A navy blue fuzzy cropped tank top and matching plaid skater skirt with opaque tights. "It's cute. I like it." "Yeah, too bloody fucking cute. Type of scum that'll be crowded 'round ya will surely agree as they'll be trying to slip their hands up that little skirt of yours. Christ, Stel. You're so naive. Put this on and cover yourself up will you." He quickly pulls off his leather jacket off and hangs it over my shoulders. His hands reach for mine and he swings our arms around, his forehead pressed against mine. Another moment passes before he scoops me up and out through the front door. •

Ryder pushes my front door open and the sight of my empty apartment makes me sigh with relief. I couldn't stand to be in Colorado a second longer. My past was eating me alive. It was early afternoon so light was pouring in and lighting up every inch of the place as I dropped my things to the ground and fell onto my sofa, bringing my knees to my chest.

*Ryder's POV*

Her sighs and lack of communication throughout our trip back home has me so worried. There she is curled up on the couch without putting a single item from her luggage away. Ever since I found her screaming and shouting in bed the other night, she's been acting so distant.. So fragile. Her presence is like a thin sheet of glass, ready to shatter if I so much as stroke her cheek. What the hell was she dreaming about that has her so shook up? I grab a couple glasses and the whiskey bottle before walking to the couch and kneeling in front of her. "It's gotta be 5 o'clock somewhere, right?" I put on my best grin and gesture for her to take a glass. Her weak smile and quick swallowing of the contents of her glass turn my grin to a thin line. "Why are you looking at me like I'm some zoo animal behind a cage?" "You just seem odd." My acknowledgment of her strange behavior makes her shrink further into herself. "I'm alright. Jet lagged, you know. Probably need a nap." "I'll unpack everything while you have a rest then." "No, sleep with me." "Love, we've got lots of stuff to put away and then I've got some work to take care of." Suddenly she's gripping my wrist and is looking at me as if I've just said I'm moving across the globe. What's gotten into her? "Please." I look at her and notice how tired and watery her eyes are. The greyish-blue is darker and cloudier. "Yeah, Stel." Without letting my wrist go, she guides me to her bedroom and cocoons herself within her sheets and my arms. "Thank you." She kisses the gap between my thumb and index finger before closing her eyes. I kiss her temple but leave my lips lingering above her warm skin. This girl truly fucking scares me.

*Stella's POV*

"Razors pain you, rivers are damp.
Acid stains you, drugs cause cramps.
Gun aren't lawful, nooses give.
Gas smells awful, you might as well live."
I pause the television and swirl the whiskey in my glass around before sending it down my throat. I take another puff of my Marlboro Light, doing whatever I can to feel some kind of warmth. My insides have been torn apart by cold, undead memories for weeks now and I've been grasping at anything that can make me feel distracted. Ryder's been working so fucking much lately. I get that he doesn't wanna be attached to his parents or their money but it's really fucking me up even more. The nights he doesn't come to my place I don't even bother sleeping because I know it won't end well. Then there are all the stupid rumors like how I'm supposedly secretly rendezvousing with Jake Gyllenhaal? Christ. Jo's been up a wall because I've been showing up late to shows and shoots due to my constant hangovers from nonstop drinking. That's me. Stress, drink, repeat. What the fuck is wrong with me? I change channels and E! News answers my inner question instantly. Jace.