No Such Thing

Chapter 12

Playlist:
Heartbreak Hotel - Tiffany ft. Simon Dominic
Magnetism - Landon Pigg
You - The 1975

• I was lounging on his couch, twisting the heart shaped necklace around my neck. His bright patterned shirt was draped over me, barely covering my tits. He was pressed up against the other end, massaging my feet and smoking a joint. "Come here." He pulled my legs toward him so I could sit on his lap. I couldn't get the cheesy grin off my face that he always left me with. The joint hanging from his lips, he reached up and rubbed his thumbs just below my eyes, probably cleaning up my always smudgy mascara. I pressed my cheek against the palm of his hand. "Get closer to me I want you to try something." He pulled me in more and I straddled him tighter. He grunted softly at the impact. His hand left its place on my hip to hold his joint and he used the other hand to softly part my lips with the pad of his thumb. I let my mouth fall open as he leaned in and blew a mouthful of weed smoke through my lips and I let the thick hot air seep into my lungs. "You like that, babe?" I nodded, my eyes wide. Without warning he had one hand tangled in my hair, the other down my (well, his) boxers, and his mouth on mine. I fell back against the couch giggling as he planted a thousand kisses along my collarbone. "I fucking love you, Stel. I fucking love you so much. You don't know how bloody fucking much I adore you." He bites down softly on my earlobe when he finishes breathing his confessions down the nape of my neck. I bring his attention back to my face and mumble a quiet "I love you" as his lips fall back where they belong and the heart-shaped noose creates a tighter hold on my life. •

"I just had a hot flash that's all." After finally gathering myself off the ground I had to reassure Carmen endlessly that I was perfectly fine and didn't need a paramedic. The last thing I care to discuss is what caused me to pass out in the first place. "I'm so sorry. I'll get us the check. You scared me so badly!" I smiled at her genuine concern for my well-being. Such a kind soul. So rare to find nowadays. Nothing like the people I had been unfortunate to be exposed to.

I throw my keys on my counter and drag ass to my bedroom only to throw myself on my bed in defeat. Carmen insisted on walking me all the way to my apartment to ensure that I was in good condition. Today wasn't at all what I expected. Then again, I thought I had figured out how to completely avoid what occurred today from happening at any point in time, but clearly I wasn't prepared. My phone lit up on my pillow and started vibrating. Ugh I don't feel like talking to anyone. Who the hell is it? I smack my hand over my phone in annoyance and drag it toward me to see Ryder is calling. Perfect. "Hello?" "Open your door." You've gotta be kidding me. "What?" "Oh I'm sorry. Please open your door." Why now? Not now. Now is a bad time. Come back another time, just not right now. Reluctantly, I remove myself from my bed and go to answer the door. He's whistling on the other side. I'm gonna check myself into a psych ward by the end of the day, I just know it. When I open up, he's leaning against the frame in a Rolling Stones muscle tee, hiding behind a bouquet of sunflowers. I don't know what to focus on, his biceps or the sweet gesture. "Surprise." He moves forward to give me a hello kiss and I feel all my prior stress melt away into the warmth of him pouring into me. I move backward guiding him inside while he closes my door. Realizing that those flowers are probably dying of thirst, I grab them and break away from him to go put them in a jar of water since I've never owned a vase in my life. "Thank you." "Get used to it. There are a lot more coming your way in the future." Him mentioning the future only makes my mind dwell on the past and all of the shitty memories come rushing back. While he's here I don't want to be in a pissy mood, so I shove it all away and walk over to him instead, placing my hands on his chest. "What did you do today?" "Shopping with Vince. Just manly things." "Super manly." His eyes followed my fingers as they swirled around the letters on his shirt. He grabbed my hands and kissed each of my knuckles one by one. "I figured you'd rather stay in today after what happened earlier. Sorry you were feeling sick." Sick is right. The mere thought made my stomach churn. "No biggie, but yeah, I do feel like staying in." "Good cause I may have brought a USB full of episodes of The Blacklist to force you to watch." "You're a billionaire yet you still illegally download?" I yank the hair tie off my wrist with my teeth and attempt to pull my hair into somewhat of a neat ponytail. "When a season still isn't on Netflix, fuck yeah. Gotta do what I gotta do."

He was bent over getting a beer out of my fridge. I sat in my hanging chair and swung around a bit watching him savagely open the bottle against my countertop. Every vein in his arm popped and I pictured the way it grazed my thigh between my sheets just last night. Fuck it felt like an eternity since then. "You know you look like a chicken in a flying egg in that ridiculous chair right?" I chuck a cushion from behind me at his head as he walks past me to my couch. "You know you look like a Neanderthal almost breaking off a chunk of my counter opening that beer right?" "Touché. Now get your rude ass over here, we've got a marathon of James Spader to see." He pats the space next to him and I descend from my "egg" as he calls it. Instead of sitting next to him I choose to sit on top of him, resting my legs on the arm of the sofa and my head on his shoulder. He wraps one arm around my thighs, squeezing them, and covers my knees in kisses. I smiled and snuggled closer as he put the USB into his tablet. While he waited for everything to load, I felt myself drifting into my inner thoughts. My hand began gently rubbing around the base of my neck, feeling for the chain that used to make its home there. "Does your neck hurt, angel?" I stop spacing out to look up at him. His eyes were two perfect emeralds, shining with kindness and consideration. "No, I'm fine." He planted a soft kiss on my temple. Angel. Maybe at one point I was, but that girl was long gone. Gave the devil a dance and he tore my wings right off.