No Such Thing

Chapter 11

Playlist:
Odd Eye - Shinee
Haunt // Bed - The 1975

"Wake up and help me pick a damn shoe!" I put my phone to the side after I read Stella's *rolling my eyes* text and snap back to reality. Vince and I are at Tom Ford since his beau had a job booked for this afternoon and I'm the only able-bodied male left to shop with. "What's up with the green?" He's holding up a pair of suede forest green loafers that look like they were stolen from The Joker's closet. "Can't a guy have a little variety?" "By all means if you're going to dress Marciano as Harley Quinn, go ahead." "Hilarious! Hahaha.. HA." "It's a nice Halloween idea. Carmen could go as Poison Ivy and I could be Batman." Just like Stella told me I could. "Christian Bale could snap you like a twig, please. Your lover would make quite the Catwoman though. Meow." Picturing her in a tight black shiny leather catsuit. Oh man. "Don't tease me." "Alright don't get all hormonal. Speaking of which, you two left very abruptly last night." He was raising his eyebrows at me with a creepy smile on his face. Flashes of me on top of her trying to pull her as close to her as I could pour through my mind. Swallowing her constant moans. Digging her heels into my back. Then her falling asleep on my stomach as I caressed her hair, leaving a few kisses on her shoulder like a signature at the bottom of a love letter. And how she still expected me to leave her. "How does your boyfriend give you security? Like how do you know he's not gonna screw you over." "Well he might look like a bear, but he's sweet as Winnie the Pooh's honey pot. The minor details he pays attention to about me and things he does, I guess really seal the deal for me. Why? Did America's next top model think you were skipping out on her?" "She always does. No matter what I do to prove otherwise she always asks me when I'm gonna walk out and forget all about her. And the weirdest part is we'll be perfectly fine and then in the blink of an eye she's be pushing me out the door." "Oh, my dear friend. Here I was thinking she had stick up her ass syndrome, but this is much worse." He sits down on the bench and rests his hand on my shoulder. "Explain." I feared for the worst. Having a gay best friend was really helpful in times like these. He was a lot more in tune with women than I was. "Are her parents divorced? Or did she have a psycho beefcake ex boyfriend? Because I hate to break it to you, but your girl doesn't have an ounce of trust in anything concerning revealing her emotions. That's the exact type of girl that hates Nicholas Sparks novels, does not cry during Titanic, and refuses to listen to Adele. Great to have as friends, but oh buddy you're fucked. Royally fucked!" Her parents were still together living in Colorado. She said the closest thing she had to a date let alone a boyfriend was some guy who took her to high school prom. All the other stuff Vince was saying was probably true, but I doubt that she just doesn't believe in love. That's crazy. "She's not THAT intense." "Listen I get it. She's really great in bed and you really like her, but don't go blinding yourself from the truth. I'm not saying to dump her, but just know it's not gonna come easy to you. Don't start trying to hold her hand in Central Park and shit. She'll run away faster than Usain Bolt." I felt really nervous all of a sudden. What if she never believes me? I spy a silver glittering boot on a nearby shelf and hand it to Vince. "If you want flashy this is the way to do it." I don't wanna think about losing her anymore.

*Stella's POV*
Carmen is really growing on me. We've spent our entire lunch discussing the lack of fashion innovation since the passing of McQueen and how sick we are of feminists putting down other feminists. She has proven to be the more pleasant version of me. "So when are you gonna break it to him?" "Break what to who?" "When are you telling Ryder you're not into dating?" My cigarette was dangling between my index and middle fingers. I brought it to my lips and let the smoke drown out the words I really wanted to say. I wanted to tell her why I am the way that I am. I wanted to tell her how much I want Ryder and I to work out. I wanted to express how badly I longed to allow myself to feel anything for someone. But there was no way I was letting that shit pour out of my mouth. "That's not really what we're doing though. Is it?" "Boy takes girl out to eat and to events and to meet his best friends. Girl lets boy sleep at her apartment almost every night and doesn't kick him out. Sounds like a pretty solid relationship to me." She chuckles through a cloud of smoke. I guess I had no argument for that. "Okay so we're.. Dating." "Congrats. Admitting is the first step." She applauds and proceeds to pick up her phone and scroll down what I assume to be Twitter as she ashes her cigarette. I take a large gulp of my cosmopolitan, trying to flush the storm of uneasiness stirring within me. She begins to cough as a stuttered laugh escapes her. "Georgia was seen out with Jason Wilde last night? Yikes! A match made in hell." Everything went black and all I could hear was the glass falling from my hand and shattering to the floor, the floor that I was now lying on. Carmen's voice was so faint and distant that I couldn't make out what she was saying. All I could really focus on was that name. "Stella? Stella are you alright? Oh my god." The cold pavement was no match for the internal freeze spreading through my body from my brain's repetition of that name. My consciousness slipped away as I saw the blurred image of a familiar necklace. J.W.