Picture perfect - Book 1 - Q.F.

Funk

Piper wasn't entirely sure what she had just witnessed. Apparently Jesse had just broken up with Rachel, returned to Vocal Adrenaline and, somehow, managed to sneak the rest of his team into their auditorium for a — impeccable — performance of Another one bites the dust.

"It's a Carmel High tradition." Artie said, as Piper pushed him toward the choir room, the rest of the club following them closely. "They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification. Meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep black funk."

"Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams." Finn said. "You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them."

"Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked." Puck said. "Those guys are golden."

"Come on, keep your heads up, guys." Kurt said. "It's going to take more than that to get us into a funk."

Kurt's smiled died, however, as soon as he pulled open the door to reveal their choir room, covered in toilet paper everywhere.

"Oh my God..." Piper whined. "Seriously?"

"I feel so violated." Tina complained, as soon as all the kids started to get to work to clean up the mess that Vocal Adrenaline had left for them. "It's like someone broke into our home."

"Look, it was just a lame little prank." Mr. Schue — who had arrived there just a few minutes after the kids — said. "And the fact that they're trying to get to us means maybe we got them spooked."

"Uh-uh, Mr. Shue. They aren't afraid of anything." Mercedes shook her head. "That number they did was fantastic. You know, which doesn't make any sense. They had all that equipment. How did they even get in?"

To that, no one had an answer, but before anyone could say anything else, Sue Sylvester walked into the room with a satisfied smirk and about five other kids behind her

"I gave 'em all keys." She said, as everyone sighed. Now that made sense. "Helped them do a sound check over the weekend."

Exchanging a glance with Mercedes, Piper rolled her eyes, but frowned when she noticed the strange kids walking into the choir room at Sue's request.

"Hey, this way, fellas." She said, pointing at the trophy shelf. "Let's punch out this wall here. That'll open up the space a little bit."

"Sue, what are you doing?" Mr. Schue asked as he stepped closer to the woman who, as usual, ignored him.

"I can't talk to you now, William. Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here." She said. "You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, and I expect to return with a comically large first place trophy for which I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, this choir room will become my official trophy annex. You know what it has to look like? Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese white women waddling around and crying."

"Sue, get out of my room." Mr. Schue demanded.

"Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing has not been damaged by massive doses of Acutane, listen up." Coach Sylvester said, turning to the kids and ignoring Mr. Schue's glare on her. "In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. Now how do I know that? Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, who told me that you're 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. You are going to lose, and your dreams will be crushed."

"Sue, can I see your trophy?" Mr. Schue interrupted, pointing at the cheerleading trophy coach Sylvester had in hands as she smiled at him.

"Sure, Will." She said, giving him the trophy. "Hope and dream."