The Four Baristas: Double Shot

Chapter 13

I don't know where I'm going
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

Here I go again
Here I go again

Seated at a table in one of the station's cavernous dining halls, Cam put down the disappointing cup of not-quite-coffee that was the closest substitute to the real thing EJ's massive computational power and the station's hyper-advanced synthesising technology had so far been able to come up with.

"EJ, mate, as much as I appreciate the 80s vibe, I can't help but feel you might be trying to tell us something."

"Who, me?" asked the former hologram, raising his voice to be heard above the music. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

"Oh, you know—just a hunch. Look, it's not as though we don't want to go back to the Milky Way."

"That's right," agreed Flenson, draining his cup and getting up for a refill—real coffee or not, caffeine was still caffeine. "We're just keen to explore alternative, ideally safer means—you know, ones that don't involve throwing ourselves at a planet and hoping we'll miss. What else have you got?"

"Well," replied EJ, after a moment's consideration, "there is one other option. I suppose I could reinforce the ion drives, reroute most of the station's power into them, and then fly us home by conventional means—you know, without scrunching. That would be safer."

"Really? Cam's expression brightened. "That would work? Awesome, let's do that."

"Sure thing. Although, I should probably point out, there is one catch."

The brightness faded a little. "Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Well, just that the trip would take something in the order of several billion years."

All remaining traces of brightness were extinguished. "Ah. Right. Well, that's not ideal."

Flenson took his seat back at the table. "How about a series of scrunches? You know, smaller, safer jumps?"

"Yeah," agreed Cam. "Smaller, safer and less explodey."

"Nah," said EJ. "Not an option, I'm afraid. If we wind up in intergalactic space, there won't be any planets for us to use for the next jump. It's one big jump or bust."

Though I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for

"EJ?"

"Yes, Cam?"

"Do you think maybe we could change songs?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure thing. How's this?"

Might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
Go ahead and jump

The barista sighed. "EJ, once we get you sorted on sarcasm and idioms, remind me to give you a hand with subtlety."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, you could have at least played some of the verses."

The music stopped. "Fair enough. Look, given the subtle approach isn't really coming off, let me lay it out straight for you guys. There are only two options here. First up, we can take the chance, go with my plan, cross our legs—"