Lovestruck

Chapter 4: The Spot

I noticed that Lace is now a part of my head's thoughts whenever I'm doing something, like doing my chores, grocery shopping, and going to the mall, etc.

I guess that interaction got me hyped.

Me and Lace talk a few times, and most of the time it's like quick talk texting. It seems like now she's avoiding me, but I'm not surprised.

Why not?

Because it's a basic thing whenever you just had sex with a girl who has a boyfriend. So I did the thing I do best, most of the time:

I ignored her too.

This week I was just chilling in my room, playing 2k, Rocket League, and other games.

While playing Rocket league, my phone was ringing in my pocket, so I grabbed it and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Eric."

It was Lace, after three weeks of not talking to me. My brain was over here cussing me out, just saying:

The fuck is wrong with you picking up that call? She's been ignoring your ass for weeks, and you STILL have the nerve to pick up the call?? Man, your ass is tripping, for sure...

"Hello? Eric, you there?"

 "Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Why did you call me, though?"

There was a slight pause before she continued, "Can I come over to the house, or no?"

I quickly thought of an excuse for her not coming, and 10 seconds later an idea popped in my head.

"Um, how about we meet at the park near the forest? That seems better," I said.

She said it was fine with her, but I had to meet her there at 12. And she told me to bring a blanket, and to bring food as well.

I saw her walking towards me, wearing a shirt and jeans and those shoes that I gave her as a gift last year on her birthday.

I waved at her, and she sat down across the table from me.

"Hey, how are you?" she asked.

I told her I was good, and soon we just talked about how school is coming soon, and talked about the new and old people coming.

"So, what's been going on with you and Chris?"

She was quiet before she spoke. "He... wanted a break from me, and we haven't spoken in a while after that."

I was surprised, knowing that. When everyone figured that out .

Hearing this made me like, happy, and kinda sad too, because you never know what's going to happen, the future only knows, and we have to prepare for that certain reveal.

I reached for her hand, and squeezed it softly.

"Whatever happens, I'm here for you, ok?"

She nodded.

She looked up with a tear in her eye, and I got my finger and brushed that tear away, knowing that she has a reason to cry, and she needs someone to be there, to at least comfort her.

And I want to do that for her.

15 minutes later after eating, Lace asked me to walk her home, which I was ok with, because I don't have to be home until 6, and it was only 1:55.

We walked and talked the way to her house, and at one point, while we were walking, she softly and slowly connected her hand with mine.

Man, when I tell you I felt that shiver, I'm telling you, I felt it.

But, why? Why did I still feel this pang of sadness in my heart?

Why did I so deeply wish that she was with me?

"Eric, are you ok? Eric..." Lace spoke.

I looked in her eyes, wanting to see everything. Why cheat with me, yet with me I've loved her since we met in school, and she doesn't want this to go any further.

Why then use me?

"Lace, I love you, and I just don't feel comfortable, cause you're just...using me, and I want to be with you, Lace. I just can't do this shit anymore."

I let go of her hand, and walked the opposite direction.

"WAIT ERIC!"

I turned around to see her, crying with so much...pain.

"Lace, I'm done with this. I want to be loved, not to be used."

She grabbed my hand, and turned me around.

"Eric, please, let's not do this..we can work this out.."

I couldn't do it. I just didn't feel right with it. It was like she never understood those feelings of mine.

But I want her, I want her with me.

For some reason, I then turned around and walked towards her house, but without a word. Lace took it as, "Fine, use me."

I didn't want to be this object she uses here and there. I want to be by her side, the person there when she needs help, I just want to love her.