Learn to love

From bad to worse

Time jump:

To say the past few weeks have been different is an understatement. Ever since I switched sides, Voldemort has made sure I was constantly training. If I wasn't working on spells and potions with Eva, I was training hand-to-hand combat with Aaron. After the last outing I had with Eva, I hadn't been out of the manor.

Not that I minded, since Lucius was nowhere to be seen. The bastard was currently hiding from the ministry of magic. He was stripped of all dignity and power he had in the wizarding world. I mean he deserved it, but I didn't think his family did. Draco wasn't bad at all. In fact, he was nothing like he portrayed at Hogwarts. He was mellow, quiet, nice even. A few times he would train alongside me with Eva. Draco's mom had shown me nothing, but hospitality. She was nice, just did the mistake of marrying the wrong guy.

Speaking of marriage, since the day I sent the letter to Sirius, I haven't been able to speak with him again. To no one actually. Even Hermione had failed to try and contact me. Which in a way I understood and I had to accept it for now, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Glancing down at my ringless finger, I pulled out the chain around my neck. I had placed my wedding ring on it, to avoid losing it or being taken from me. The moment I had taken it off my finger, it felt as if I had broken an unspoken vow or something. Almost as if I had violated my marriage in a way. My hand felt lighter without it as well.

"Black!" Aaron called.

I leaned back in the chair, tossing my head back. "What do you want?" Aaron was a tall man, standing at 6'1. He had semi-long hair, giving him a boyish look. His eyes were blue/gray colored. He was alright, for a death eater that was. I mean the man still idolized the idea of them controlling the wizarding world.

"Children have no manners nowadays." Aaron grumbled. "We are going."

"Where?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?" He sighed, grabbing his coat and tossing me mine.

I stood up with an annoyed groan. "Yes, it's how I annoy people." Slipping my coat on, I followed him.

"You don't say." He waited for me at the door, stopping me from walking out. "Prepare yourself."

"What?"

"I am not supposed to speak about this, but-" He grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the house. "You will be tested today, Athena. You will be doing something you will not like."

Now I was confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I can't say more." He stepped back, ready to take flight. "I will give you this, do not hesitate. Hesitation is a sign of weakness, and no matter how much of a favorite you are to our lord, it will not be tolerated."

Watching him take off in a fog of black smoke, I kept going over his words. What the hell did that all mean? Taking off after him, I caught up in no time. When it came to traveling, I rarely did so in this form. My color was neither black nor white, but half and half. Not the best when trying to blend in with the others. I had asked Eva what that meant. Her response was simple 'You carry both marks. You are neither.' That honestly didn't help at all. Glancing behind me, I noticed a few other death eaters had joined us. One was actually carrying Draco with him. 'What the hell was going on?'

I was completely numb. My body stood frozen to the ground. I felt those around me, moving, talking, but it felt as if I wasn't there. I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder, whispering in my ear 'you did well.' But I didn't. What I did was the worse crime anyone could commit. Someone else stood beside me, taking my hand slowly into theirs. Looking down at my wand, I hadn't noticed just how hard I was gripping it. The wood creaking at nearly being snapped. Letting it go almost as if it had burned me, I stumbled out of the room. I needed air. I needed to get out of there. The room felt as if it was closing in around me. Turning into the alley, I stumbled against the wall, heaving for air. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down. Instead, all I could hear were the screams of that man. The begging for his life. I couldn't blame this one anyone, but me. In the end, I was the one doing the damage. I was the one causing the pain. Not him or them, but for me.