Crystal's Poetry Palace

The Past Four Years

TW: mention of death, surgeries, and knives

2018
It wasn't the worst, but it wasn't great
I mean, AT FIRST, it was okay
But then that day everything changed
When you came home but did not remain
Straight to the hospital, but it was crowded
When you were gone, mom kept us grounded
I asked what was going on, but to no avail
Being at home without you felt cold and stale
MONTHS.
Without a father, I felt I had been led astray
Internal bleeding, too many surgeries to count
I had no idea if you were okay
My prayers for nights and nights the same
"Please bring my father home" but you never came

2019
My prayers still the same as before
But now it was a little different
"Please bring my father home, in time for my birthday"
But still it seemed my prayer was insignificant
The Thursday after had proved that not to be true
Cause I saw you at home, you were strong and pulled through
The rest of that year was pleasant and sweet
Looking forward to the year to follow assuming it would be treat

2020
Schools shut down, friends and families were torn apart
Six feet in between and wear a mask, if you're smart
Isolated from world as it slid into chaos
But it was fine, cause at least we had each other, right?
April 11, the day before Easter
We hugged on to her and refused to let go
"You'll see me in the morning now go get ready for bed"
One of the last things that she had ever said
April 12, the day that will haunt me for eternity
I woke to my you pleading her to wake up and not leave
I rushed down stairs to see her on the couch like the night before
She hadn't gone up stairs, but my eyes from her tore
My sister stared with panic in her eyes
I sat down to comfort her, or at least I tried
Paramedics and policemen walked in and out of our house
"I'm sorry for your loss"
.......
We called and told the family and they rushed over to see
The remains of their daughter, in law, and best friend forever, or so it seemed
Mom laid there so peacefully, as we cry ourselves a sea
Full of sorrow cause too soon we had to see her leave
I had to be strong, for them and for you
I took time to myself to think things through
Eventually we went back to a somewhat normal life
But the memories still linger in my mind, stabbing at me like a knife

2021
Maybe this year will be okay
Sure there's still COVID, but soon it may go away
I was in school when you got the call
By your composure and tone I knew something was wrong
I continued the day wondering what had happened
Only to hear from my grandmother that another loved one was gone
No one knows when she died, cause she lived alone
My aunt, best friend, now nothing but a lifeless body and bones
Death number two
Would have been number three if you hadn't pulled through
I don't know what to do
But I have to stay strong
No one can know what's wrong
I just smile and act as if I'm okay
And when I'm alone I let the tears roll away