Cure To My Aching Soul

29.Together apart

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Anticipation of knowing if my world had crumpled into pieces or not was bugging me inside.I just knew she needed time to process my past and its cruelty,to expect anything else from her was selfish on my part.Something inside me felt dead just at the thought of not having her with me for an eternity.Her presence is like herbal value of neem that heals all my scars.Her touch is like the band-aid that has the power to neutralise my misfortune.Her smile is like an antidote to my past.The idea of spending rest of my life with her was no longer bizzare.The things I felt around her was something I had never felt before.She was just a pleasant hurricane that created a lasting havoc in my heart.I love her.Yes,I do.I LOVE HER.

I need to figure out my shit before she walks out.I am ready to put out a fight if that was the cost I had to pay to have her with me.I knew one person who could help me.I immediately got up,grabbing my jacket and rushed down the stairs after locking my apartment.I jogged till the park and walked towards the dome,huffing.

He sat their on the bench resting his head behind with eyes closed and a broad smile was plastered on his face.I paced towards him,accommodating myself beside him.

"Nanu?" I called.

He straightened up,shifting his attention to me.Avinash Trivedi whom we all fondly call 'Nanu' was a wise man and by 'we' I meant the people at my apartment.He was in his seventies and he knew stuff about me and Anika.Nothing could be hidden from this man.I always went on a jog with him every morning and listening to his words of wisdom,experiences,stories felt good.

"Spill it out,"he demanded.See,he knew things even before I could tell.

"I messed up things with Anika,"I revealed.He knew I had a past,a horrible one but he never asked and my past was not something I went around discussing with people.

"Don't we all mess up stuff at one point of time?"he asked flashing his 'wisdom' smile.I am sure we all do but not everyone explodes things like I did.

"Not like mine,"I answered.

"I see."

"She is leaving me,I guess,"I said.I am sure no one wants their life with a fucked up asshole like me.

"Do you know the reason behind my smile?No, what do you kids say,yeah blush!" he quizzed.

I sat their bewildered.What was his blush supposed to do with my misery."No,"I answered.

"Every time I close my eyes,my wife appears like a beautiful angel.Probably its just in my head but I like to believe the other way."I knew where this was heading to.

"Love isn't a requirement neither a necessity.It's an emotion and few fortunate people feel the depth of it.It isn't easy.Accepting another person and loving them despite their flaws is not easy.Most of us can't accept our own souls let alone another's.But I did and so did my wife.We had moments where we disagreed but we knew better than to hold grudges."He concluded

I hugged him,giving my 'I am so grateful' smile.He gave me HOPE and that's exactly what I needed.I sat down with him,closing my eyes.Mentally,gathering the courage to face her.
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I jogged back to her apartment.I needed to console her.Probably it's good to give that person some space but in my case she didn't need that space,all she needed was my presence,my assurance that I would never let my past disturb our relationship and my love.

I knocked on her door but there was no response.My anxious side wanted me to break the door to get in but as soon as the unlocking sound of locks was heard on the other side,instant relief flooded with in me.Her swelled brown eyes looked up to meet mine.Her nose was red as tomato and her cheeks were drowned in fresh tear patches and some strained dry ones.It hurts to see her all broken and messed.

I walked in before she could shut the door on my face but she didn't show any sign of doing such.Instead I could see the longing in her eyes, same as mine.The moment we were inside,I pulled her close to my chest,wrapping both my arms around her.I was surprised when she reciprocated my touch and soon she nuzzled her head,resting on my chest.Her sobs were meek but audible.She seemed so tired and worried.

"I am sorry,"I whispered.She didn't respond,instead she nuzzled more into my warmth.After a few minutes we settled ourselves on the sofa.She gently laid her head on my lap,I was completely bewildered and shocked.Not that I didn't like it but this idea of comfort was completely foreign to me.No one wanted any sort of comfort from a person like me but here she was in my comfort.It was overwhelming to have the love of my life with me.Though I didn't plan on confessing it any sooner to her,at least not until I had told her EVERYTHING.

I petted her hairs,wrapping my left hand around her abdomen."Its-Its just hard for me to digest.It scares me to imagine what must have happened in your life that made you a dru-"She wasn't able to complete it.She was so naive and the thought that she cared beyond measure for me was too intense and overwhelming.

"Drug addict?" I offered.

She nodded,turning her head on my lap, facing me.I bent down and kissed her forehead.Those lines of worry was my job to handle and not hers.She deserved everything good.

"Do you want to know,everything?" I asked.I just wanted to get rid of the burden that could taint our future.If she was ready,I am willing to tell her everything.

"No,not now.I am still not over the details you told me recently." She was quick enough to reply.I know its a lot to take in and I will abide by her wishes.

She placed her warm hands over my cheeks turning my attention towards her."I am sorry that I just walked away from you when you said all those.You are so different now from what you were then.Imagining you to be that person was difficult.I have reached a point where my feelings for you grows more each day.I can't think of being away from you and thinking about you with other women is not something I can handle.I feel a lot more for you Shivaay-"

I didn't need her to tell me more,I bent down to fiddle with her warm moist lips with mine.I grabbed her by my arms and she settled her hips on my lap.Our breathe grew loud and heavy.It was too intense to think about anything else.I pulled her closer by her waist.Her legs were on either side of my lap and I thrusted my tongue into hers.In return I was appreciated with her moans.All I knew was she loved me too but she still hadn't figured that out.Yet,I was ready to wait for a lifetime if it meant she would be mine at the end.

We ran out of air and our moment came to hault.She rested her hands on either side of my cheek bone,placing a soft kiss  at the corner of my mouth.

"I want you to come with me,to New York." She said out of blue.

"Will you?" she asked again,hope glittering in her eyes.

"I will." I answered,placing my lips on the bridge of her nose.

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Finally!!!

So re u all ready for NYC phase?

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