Cure To My Aching Soul

14.My intolerant resistance

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

My life was in jeopardy,it has always been this way for as long as I can remember.I may be the happy-fortunate billionaire as people visualize but my life is fucked up in a way that no one can ever imagine.I am the one who stays up all night just to skip those horrible shit,nightmares.All I do is put up a facade to be the happy-go-man but I have no idea how does 'h' of happiness sounds like.I just watch the darkness prevail in my life each day with no sign of a bright ray.Less did I know that the monster in me ended up destroying another soul,four years ago.I am just a suction pump that ends up sucking light in every person's life who's dear to me.

I fucking hate it,I blame myself,punish myself every day for those misfortunes.I ended up gobbling the light in Saanvi's life and I fear if I end up repeating the history with her,Anika.The instant I met her,I could feel my eyes squint at the intense brightness,I knew she was the one for me but I could never be the one meant for her.

I needed a cure and she happens to be my cure but what if I end up poisoning her life with my darkness,just like Saanvi's.I am completely aware that Anika wants to know me,the real me but I can't let her in,knowing that she will just walk inside the dark empty void that resides in me and that void will soon imprison her light.She deserves better but the selfish me can't stand a thought of her with someone else except me.I always let the real me take control,whenever I am with her,though I try not to fuck up.I lose my control over my body,it tends to move closer to her,it yearns to be in her arms,feel her touch but I can't.Its damn frustrating to be near her but yet not with her.But tonight I ended up crossing the line.

I shouldn't have but I couldn't resist either.

"Only if you want to,but you just keep running away,"she said.I didn't want to run away from you Anika,not any more but I need to,its for your best,was what I wanted to say.She sighed in frustration and rolled her eyes to piss me off. After all the heartache I've suffered,she seems to be the one who wants to mend it.She happens to be the cure and a fresh ray of light in my gloomy life.

"I don't want to either but i can't,"I ended up telling her.I couldn't resist her when I sensed the same desire in her as mine.I closed the distance between us by cupping her warm cheeks with my cold palm,stroking her soft skin with my calloused thumbs.She's light as a feather, too fragile.I wanted to shout in frustration of not being able to handle anything delicate, but instead I buried my nose in her hair,overwhelmed by her intoxicating scent.These moments shall be the reminiscent of happier times,an orchard in the fall.Mine,I wanted to declare out loud but I couldn't.

At first she was stiff with resistance, but after a beat she relaxed against me,resting her head on my shoulder.Emboldened,I took a risk and closed my eyes as I kissed her earlobe,twitching it between my lips. She didn't struggle out of my hold and it was a relief.I've yearned for this woman and knowing that she desired me,evoked an unknown feeling that felt foreign.But I had to be careful.I didn't want her to walk in my darkness.So,I just held her, enjoying the feel of her in my arms and this simple moment of tranquillity.

Will I always want her like this? I wanted to kiss her,be in her arms forever.She blinked as if her desire for me consumed her without her consent. Her lips gently parted,seeking for mine to nibble, and I suppressed a groan resisting my urge to do more.Her soft lips felt like a pillow on which I could rest as a happy man for the rest of my life.How does she do this? Derail me with a look? I am used to control-and I'm practically drooling over her.Was this lust,I asked myself.I knew it wasn't just the desire to have this bewitching woman but something more that could consume me.I wanted her to tell me that it's going to be fine,she would always be with me but for that to happen I should let her in.Should I?Will there ever be a chance for us?Me and her as cou-"

Never,I should stop my heart before she turns to an addiction I can't quit.

My phone buzzed bringing me out of my doomed thoughts and this reminded me of the fear she had in her eyes when I saw her with my phone.I never wanted those pretty little eyes to hold fear against me,I meant no harm to her but I wanted those eyes to reflect more and it wouldn't be fair on my part to expect more.I had never believed in instant connection until I saw her,Anika.

My cell buzzed for the second time.

"Yeah,ram?"

"Sir we have tracked his sim.It's detected in NYC."

I can't believe,am I hearing right?I am so close to that fucking moron?I swear the moment he is in front of me,he will never see the next sunrise,never ever.

"Sir?"

"Yeah,Ram.Take your team and head to NYC by the next flight.Don't worry about the expense,just be ready.My assistant will mail you your tickets.Send me the details of your men,I will get the tickets done."

"Yes,sir."

"I hope to see results this time.I need a solid evidence to prove him guilty.An evidence such that even the court can't deny."I nearly pleaded and yet it sounded like a demand.

"Definitely,sir."
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