Sugar, Baby?

not-so-gentle reminder

The next six months both fly by and drag on. Work wise, I've never been this busy, even when I was following Jes around. I suppose she was this busy, doing loads of interviews and practicing and recording and performing and all that, but I spent most of my days just sitting and fussing over her. That takes much less energy than being the one doing the recording and the performing and all the local radio interviews.

     I miss Jesy desperately. She's in everything I do, to the point that I'm thinking about her all the time, even when I'm not. Her name comes up in every radio interview that I do, every song I write is about her. I get a bit of a break when I sing the songs written for me, the two on the album that I didn't write, but every other moment of my day is filled with Jesy.

     Doing music is everything I imagined it to be and more, but I still find myself feeling like I'm walking around missing my heart or my head or my left arm most days. I live for the little texts she sends when she can, and for our weekly facetime calls.

     When I have to cancel our fourth call, I cry actual tears in the studio bathroom for a good three minutes- the only free time I have- until Jesy sends me a string of texts that,  well, let's say they... take my mind off things.

     Basically, if our icloud ever gets hacked, we're fucked.

     We only get to meet up once, maybe two months in, and only for a few hours. We don't even get a whole night together, and I can honestly say that I haven't had a proper sleep since Italy. Thankfully, I'm absolutely knackered most nights, so I manage to get some sleep, but it's not the same. I miss Jesy so acutely that my heart physically aches. There's a constant countdown on my phone to the moment of our eventual reunion, and I check it at least a dozen times a day.

     When the long-awaited day of our reunion finally comes, I'm up at 6am. Even though I don't perform until the evening, I'm unable to stay in bed a moment longer. Jes won't arrive at Wembley until just before her scheduled performance- she's even missing soundcheck, since she'll be on the jet when it happens- but we'll get to see each other after, and I'm absolutely buzzin'. I'm incorrigibly energetic and optimistic the whole day, practically bouncing around the greenroom and then the stage as we get ready for what will be my largest performance to date. I'm a bit nervous, but that's nearly completely overshadowed by my excitement to see Jes again. I'm hoping I'll be able to steal her away for a second between my performance and hers, but it'll all depend on when she arrives. Jes said she's gonna try to make it in time for my set, but whether she makes it or not is really up to the traffic. Unfortunately, you can't just jet straight to Wembley.

     I don't realize until I see a copy of the performer's setlist that my set is directly before her's, which I honestly didn't expect. I'm only doing two songs, after all. I figured Anne Marie or Rhythmix would be straight before Jesy, since they're the biggest acts besides her on the bill.

     "She requested your set be just before hers," Jade says when she calls to wish me good luck. "So that we'd have a good shot of making it in time to see your little singsong."

     I can't help the huge grin that spreads across my face as a result. Our call is then interrupted by one from Jes, which Jade teases me for, but not too much.

     Jesy doesn't have time to say much more than "good luck, you're perfect, I love you," but I don't mind. We'll be together in just a couple hours! I'm looking forward to that more than I'm even looking forward to my performance, if I'm honest.

     There's one thing I'm dreading, though, and that's telling Jesy that I've gotten an offer to open up for Taylor Swift on the American leg of her next tour. It's a huge opportunity, the kind that people who've only been in the industry six months just don't get, and I know Jesy will insist that I take it.