What I Need

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(a/n: I'm too excited for a pre-chapter a/n! see you at the end!)

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"Hey," I say lamely.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, maintaining her distance from me.

"Well, I, uh. I got Jade to send me your location, and then I kinda just hopped on a plane, and- the only flight to Naples today was early this morning and so I didn't have time to pack and so I showed up at the airport in heels and a bikini top 'cos they're the first non-pajama clothes I saw and- I miss you, Jes. So much. And I promised you I wasn't gonna leave you when things got tough and then they did get tough and I did leave and I know we have a lot to talk about but-"

I'm cut off when Jesy hugs me so forcefully that it's hard to breathe.

I wrap my arms around her just as tight, afraid that she'll disappear forever if I let her go for even a second.

"I missed you," she says, throat tight.

"I'm sorry," I say, tightening my arms around her even more. I need to be as close to her as possible right now.

"Me too," she says, pulling back.

I go to pull her in again, but she stops me, tugging my shirt off instead.

"Just wanna feel close to you," is the only explanation she gives.

That's all the explanation I need.

I undress her and she undresses me, lots of lingering touches and kisses and caresses being exchanged between us.

It's almost no time at all before I have her coming undone under my fingers. She tries to wiggle out of my arms after a few minutes- to return the favor, presumably- but I keep her held tight to me, wanting more than anything to keep her pressed against me and never let her go.

"Pez," she says softly, pulling at my arms a bit.

I loosen my arms a little so she can turn over, then tighten them again once she's facing me.

Her hands come up to cradle my face, wiping away the tears I didn't even realize were falling with her thumbs.

"Perriewinkle, what's the matter?"

"I need you," is all I can get out at first.

"Perrie-"

"Please, Jes," I beg.

She looks at me for a while, just stares at me, before she nods.

"I was so stupid. So, so stupid. I was insecure and I started to believe all the shit I was reading online and I had myself convinced that you were holding me back and that you didn't even really love me and that you were just using me to pass the time and-"

"Oh, Pez," she interjects, hands still on my face, thumbs still grazing my cheekbones. "You had to know how much I- I've tried so hard to make you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, how I need you. I know it's hard to ignore all the shit everyone says, but- near the end, it felt like me telling you the truth wasn't enough for you, and clearly it wasn't."

"It is now," I tell her, placing my hands over the tops of hers.

"Is it?" She asks, giving me one last caress before she pulls her hands away.

"Of course it is," I say, a little upset that she even has to ask.

"I don't think it is, Pez," she says sadly, and for the first time since I hatched a plan to come here do I realize that Jesy may not want to try again. Panic immediately begins coursing through me, and I feel my body start to shake.

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