Tu Pyar Hai Tu Hi Tabahi- SwaSan

Chapter 18

After sometime Annapurna was back in her consciousness and looked at Ram Prasad, Sujata and Sanskar one by one. Her eyes again welled up with tears. Only thing was ringing in her head that her brothers had ruined a girl's life and indirectly they had made her also their partner in their crime as being a woman she didn't understand another woman's situation. She blindly trusted her brothers more than her friend like brother-in-law Ram.

"I become such a bad brother that you not just concealed you happiness but also didn't share your sorrows with me"... Durga Prasad said in guilt. 

"No Bhaiya, you're..."... Ram Prasad tried to console him but was interrupted by Durga Prasad. 

"No Ram, don't interrupt me, don't defend me. Let me complete first"... Durga Prasad said and he just looked on. 

"There was a time when you used to come to me and Annapurna to discuss about your feelings, to ask for our suggestions when you had any problem, to narrate us everything you were going through. I remember you had told us about Janki as well, your friendship with her but when you told us about your relationship, I also asked you to forget her following Bauji and Ma's order. When you needed us more we left you alone. We were so engrossed to become a good Son- Daughter-in-law, a good brother-in-law and Sister that we didn't realize that we've another responsibility too towards our brother and we also needed to become a good brother and sister-in-law. We both ignored you, couldn't realize changes in you. That's caused distances between us. Because of us only you've to sacrifice everything which was the reason of your happiness. And you've been living with a burden on your heart, you had to hide your pain from us, pain of losing your love, perhaps a feeling of betraying Sujata and unable to tell about Sanskar's relation with Sujata, over and above that a pain of losing your one child, I can't imagine how you've been bearing this till now. I was so blind to see your"... Durga Prasad paused for a while and walked closer to Ram Prasad. 

"I don't have idea that how many things are there that you have concealed in your heart and bearing it's pain all alone. I don't know that how many things I should be sorry to you for. In fact I don't know how should I apologize to you, I'm not able to face you. I'm so embarrassed to look into your eyes"... he said emotionally, his eyes were moist and he was truly ashamed after knowing the truth. 

"Bhaiya please don't say this. You don't need to apologize. You were just fulfilling your duty of a son. I wish I could be like you. But perhaps I was not strong enough to make a right decision or take a stand for myself and my loved ones. Whatever happened was my destiny and I can't blame anyone for that. Don't be ashamed, I never considered my family as my culprit. I love you both and never wanted to hurt you, so I had to conceal everything from you. I didn't wanted to see this situation today we are in. I'm not even upset with you"... Ram Prasad said holding his brother's hand in his. He tried to convince him saying his feelings. 

"Really Ram? You're not upset with us? That's why you never gave me rights on Sanskar and Uttara? That's why you never let me make a decision for them?"... Durga Prasad asked heavily staring at him into his eyes making Ram Prasad speachless. He left his hand and looked away from him. All the family members were just watching them, none of them knew what to say. 

"Ram, I agree that you never wanted to hurt us and I don't doubt on your love for us. I know you respect us a lot, maybe that's why you don't blame us for miserable life but I can't refuse the fact that you've lost your faith in me. You couldn't trust me specifically in Sanskar and Uttara's matter. You didn't want them to face same situation you've already gone through. Perhaps you've forgiven us but couldn't forget anything Ram"... Durga Prasad remarked with pain in his voice. Ram Prasad couldn't clarify. On some point he was right and he can't deny it. He stayed quiet for few second, searching for a right word to explain himself. As Raj was still there, he was also taken aback. He felt like he was getting to know Sanskar today.