I met a girl

I met a girl who betrayed me in the end.

I met a girl. I'll name her liv (that's not her real name I just don't want to say her real name out loud) She had just moved. She started going to Lakeview she was in 5th grade. When I saw her I thought that she would be my best friend. She was my friend. Then I went to spend the weekend with my aunts and baby cousin for a weekend. I went to the store. And then she asked me to be her girlfriend . I said yes. Then it got tricky. We went on with our lives. We got back together at least 10,000,596 times if that's even a number. She went to 6th grade and everything not nothing special. We enjoyed school because we go to see each other. One day she told me her mom died. And ofc I felt bad. Then one day she told me that she wanted to move in with her mom. I told her that I thought her mom died and she said no she didn't. I was in 7th grade when that happened. The next year I was in 8th grade. She was in 7th grade. She lied some more, then I lost my best friend because she let her dad lie on me for something I didn't even do. We don't talk anymore and now I think she might be Suicide because she hasn't been on any of my social media pages and her brother only said one thing about her to me at school so now I'm kinda freaking out because I don't want her to be dead because if I'm being honest I don't want to hear that she's dead because I need her. I k ow that I shouldn't care because she lied on me but dude I'm over here freaking the crap out. So her birthday is after mines which is hilarious because I get to enjoy my weekend without her and I don't have to say anything like "happy birthday carolann" I don't have to sing happy birthday to her because she won't be in my life anymore. I won't have to be worried about her at all because I'm literally going to be 15 years old in 3 months so I don't need to be worried about her. She'll be 14 in 3 months but I'm in high school and she's in 7th grade in middle school so I'm way ahead of her. When she's in 8th grade I'll be in 10th grade and then when she's actually in high school I'll be in 11th grade and I'll be all the way up and done with school until I go to college. I can't wait to get her out of my life. You know I used to think about her a lot because she was like the only thing I could think about... scary I know but it happened. I can't make it so I didn't think about her 'cuz I did. I'm not proud of it. But she ain't getting a birthday present from me 'cuz she doesn't deserve one especially from me. I really wish someone would've told me not to fall in love at a young age because now I'm stuck with a lifetime of losing myself and I'm losing a lifetime of memory of a person who made me feel whole again. After I lost my dad I was shutting everyone and everything out. Then carolann showed up and I felt better, I opened back up to my friends and family. And I didn't shut anyone out anymore because I felt like it was time to get back to the sweet girl that everybody loved. Yes I just said "sweet." I'm also worried about seeing someone who I talked too but I haven't seen her yet, well until today. I don't want to see her or her sister because I'm literally just Becky "with the good hair" but you know I'm just an embarrassment to my whole family so it really doesn't matter anymore. She decided that I wasn't worth it. I know I'm not perfect but I'm a human too so if I decide to lie to protect myself or you I will do that. You don't understand how much hate I feel right now. She left me, she lied on me, she even let her dad blame me for something I didn't even do. He blamed me for her being up late in the phone, he blamed me for her having a boyfriend, he blamed me for her dating many people that she didn't even know, AND he blamed me for her adjusting me in group chats with boys. He said that I added her to that group chat with those boys in it. No no no no no no no no no no! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!! I never told her to be in group chats with boys, I never told her to add me to that group chat either, I never told her to date someone she didn't even know, I never told her to date someone who's older than her. She was 12 years old!! She's literally a freaking kid and she else's dating a freaking 14 year old boy. She was even dating a high schooler. Her dad told me that she wasn't allowed to date 'till she was 16 years old. I understand that, probably because that's the same rule for me and my brother. I get that your trying to protect your daughter, I do but you can't just blame someone else for your daughters mistakes. I wish I could have a little bit of freedom that she has, oh wait she doesn't have any freedom my bad. Well she does. Okay anyways, I never did anything to you. When I went trick or treating with you, I was the nicest person ever. I mean I was hiding my pain so your daughter wouldn't be all over me trying to make sure I'm okay. I never caused any problems I was the best person ever that night, because when I'm with my friends I actually respect them and their family. But I guess I'll go to juvie for text her again right?! I know you never asked for me to be in your life. I never asked to meet someone like y'all tbh, but you guys found me. Not the other way around. I never wanted to be happy because I literally wanted to kill myself, but when ur kids came to Lakeview, I thought I could be happy. Yes I was happy because they made me happy. When she told me she suffered from bipolar disorder, my first thought was that she wouldn't be able to handle all of the bad things that were gonna happen to her. All the things people said about her. I could tell she was gonna break and she almost did break. She started getting bullied and I know what that's like but I wasn't around her all the time so I could do anything. She was literally the only person who made me feel whole when Charles left for high school, I felt lonely. She was always around which made me happy but I couldn't really explain why every time we got into a fight I was sitting on the other side of the lunch room on the other side of the lunch table and when she decided that she was gonna start doing things that she would be responsible for, she left me and she never even said that she was leaving me she just ghosted and I never saw her again, I never heard from her again and I was lonely all over again. I was going through depression and it was the worst day of my life. On my birthday, I said happy birthday to her and I was waiting for one back but she never replied. I told her happy birthday on her birthday she said thanks and that was it. She didn't ask me how I was doing. She never checked on me day to day. And I was wondering what I did wrong, and then I remembered. You didn't want me talking to her so she just ignored me, she left me and she left me all alone and she never told me what I did because automatically I was the bad guy, automatically I was the person who did something wrong to hurt her. You didn't even ask me if I had anything to do with it, you just blamed me for all the bad things she did. My right hand shakes a lot and no I'm not scared of it shaking because I know why it's shaking. She's not here to hold my hand. That night when I went trick or treating with you she held my hand. You know I don't sleep anymore. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is her holding my hand and we're walking down the road to go get more candy. And I know all that actually happens and I know u don't care but she did hold my hand. You made her leave me and she did. And now I don't have anyone else to hang onto anymore. Thanks a lot. 😂 I know I'm only a kid. I know that I'm not even grown I k ow all that alright but you can't just blame another child for your own kids mistakes because you don't really know what happens because you never asked what happened you just blamed me, you blamed the person who was literally the only person who was keeping your daughter alive and still breathing. If it weren't for me, she would be dead right now. 🤷🏾‍♀️ you picked the wrong person to lie on. I know you think I did all those things but you don't have any proof that I did any of those things so before you start blaming people, you might wanna check out the full story. (I know I can't talk to adults like that. It's just how I feel. don't come at me please)