Unparalleled Joy | COMPLETED

i. Take or Regret

HIM

"Ludwig!"

If I could pretend sleeping forever, I would probably do it right now. But I know I can't do that, lalo ng makaramdam ako ng malakas na suntok sa bandang sikmura ko.

"Gumising ka!"

Tamad kong minulat ang mga mata ko ang tiningnan si Dad.

"Miss me?" I teased him with a smile.

Nakatikim lang ako ng matatalas niyang tingin. "Bumangon ka na d'yan. May recital ka pa."

'Agad naglaho ang ngiti ko nang marinig ang sinabi niya. "Masama ang pakiramdam--"

"Nothing serious happened to you!"

'Ayan na namam s'ya sa pagiging insensitive at irresponsible na Ama. He doesn't even asked me if I'm okay. Well, what should I expect? He never see me as his own son. I'm just a tool to him that he can use to maintain his fame.

"I can't--"

"Ludwig!" Sinigawan na naman niya ako. "Recita--"

"I don't wanna play anymore," diin ko.

I don't want too give up my passion. Alam ko nagpapadalos-dalos ako sa desisyon ko, but that's the only thing I can use to escape this shit. I love playing. I fucking do but I can't play like this. This is sick. This is shit. I wanna find myself... Gusto ko munang magpahinga. Pwede naman siguro 'yon?

"Gusto o hindi mo man gusto, pupunta ka ngayon sa reci--" Natigilan na lamang siya nang biglang may sumabat sa usapan namin.

"Ano na naman 'yan, Fred Chicken? Dito ka pa nag-iiskandalo sa hospital ko." I saw my lolo.

Right now I was giving him a signal.

Lolo, save your favorite grandson...

Gaya ng inaasahan ko, walang nagawa si Dad kay Lolo. Hindi siya makaimik.

Ano ka ngayon.

"Kung gusto mong present 'tong anak mo sa recital, edi ikaw ang gumawa." Pinilit kong pigilan ang tawa ko.

Recital is what we're doing every piano session. In the end, my Dad don't have a choice but to leave.

"I will clean the mess you made." The tone of my Dad's voice has gotten serious.

Lalabas na sana siya nang magsalita ako. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you watch the news?" He acted disbelief. "You are the talked of the town dahil sa ginawa mong pagtalon sa tulay."

Nangunot ang noo ko.

"And congratulations, you are the face of Billboard," he sarcastically said. "Ano bang iniisip mong bata ka? Magpapakamatay ka?"

No'ng una, hindi ko pa ga'no ma-gets ang sinasabi niya pero unti-unti kong naintindihan. Everyone must be thinking that I almost took my own life. Kumalat na 'agad without knowing the exact reason why I jump. And look at my father, miski siya nagpapadala sa fake news. Social media drives people to the cliff of their own shits.

"Ano na lang sasabihin ko? Ano'ng paliwanag na naman ang gagawin ko para ayusin 'tong gulo mo?" he bellowed.

"Edi sabihin mo..." I just smirked. "Ludwig n'yo, pagod na."

Nagkatitigan lang kami. Nagsusukatan ng tingin.

"Mabuting humayo na ka at maglinis ng kalat ng batang 'to," sabat ni Lolo. "Minsan, iniisip ko, bakit 'di ka na lang kaya mag-janitor dito sa hospital ko?"