Epilogue (2)

32 9 4
                                    

TIME: 3:13
OPERATION: successful

___

HIM

Hindi ba sinabi ko, kahit mamatay ako, babangon ako sa hukay ko para baguhin ang apilyedo ko. Thank God at hindi ko na kailangang gawin 'yon.

My operation became successful and I can't wait to see her. Ilang linggo na rin ang lumipas and I can say that I am recovering and healed.

Sa mga lumipas na linggo, hindi muna ako pinayagang lumabas at gumawa ng mga bagay na heavy and kailangan ng malalaking kilos. Feeling ko nga, panibagong sakit ang nakuha ko-- paralytic, mukha akong paralitiko.

"Ready ka na?" nakangiting tanong ni Dad habang nasa unahan ng tablet na kaniyang inayos.

Nakangiti rin akong tumango. "Basic."

After months of hiding in the public, now, I already have the fucking courage to face the world. Gaya ng pangako ko, my one great purpose will save lives.

Dad tap the red dot on the screen, allowing it to play. The live recording started and who ever watching this, I hope they will also find their one great purpose.

"How are you today? Are you guys feeling good?" nagsimula akong magsalita sa camera. "This is Ludwig Heall, on your screen. Maybe you're wondering where I am." Tiningnan ko ang paligid ko at muling binalik sa camera ang tingin. "You're right, nasa ospital ako ngayon, and maybe the last thing you remember about me, was my trashy performance at Musica Colina... and I've been staying here since that day happened."

Kahit malayo ay nakita ko ang mga komento nila. Most of them we're curious and confuse.

I gathered all my courage. "I've been struggling with essential tremors then later on, diagnosed with tumor. It causes involuntary and rhythmic shaking affecting my hand... t-that's why..." Umigting ang panga ko. "I messed up that day."

My breathing became heavy.

"I'm a drug user." I smirked. "Yeah, you can tell anything you want but I just wanna say, I did it for all of you... just to have the courage to perform and... give music to your life..."

Hindi ako nagpapaawa... 'yon naman talaga ang totoo.

"But!" I raised my forefinger. "Don't worry it won't happened again because today, I am officially announcing..." Isang malalim na buntong hininga ang binitawag ko. "The most handsome in the music industry is signing off..."

There, bigla na lamang dumagsa ang dami ng mga nagkokomento. Iba-ibang reaksyon ang nakukuha ko pero hindi na mahalaga sa 'kin 'yon ngayon. Ang mahalaga ay makita ko na siya.

"I've used to dance my hands above the piano keys but starting today, I want Him to used my hand to perform miracles."

Hindi madali. Hindi madaling bitawan ang lahat lalo na kung ito 'yong bagay na gustong-gusto mo, that you even risk your own life. Pero sa ikalawang buhay kong 'to, gusto kong magpatuloy sa ibang larangan... larangan ng medisina.

I followed my father's path. To start again. To find myself again. To find my one great purpose.

"Thank you for supporting me throughout my career... pero ngayon, tanging iiwan ko na lang sa inyo ay ang mga musika na binuo ko."

Before Dad even reached the red dot on the screen, I flashed my farewell smile.

Time to see her...

Pagka-off na pagka-off ng tablet ay 'agad kong hinawi ang kumot ko. Tatakbo akong lumabas sa kwarto ko at halos madapa na.

I missed her, fuck.

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