Butterfly || Jin

18 - Let Go

...

"Hate is heavy but it won't let go that easy"

...

When Jin woke up close to the noon, he didn't realised the time. As he woke up again alone, his mind wonder aimlessly looking at the empty room.

He decided not to bother the little Seungyeon as today would be another day of his chemotherapy.

Maybe, after that? He didn't think about it yet.

He also didn't know what he did yesterday but he feels like he's been hit by a truck. His whole body is hurting everywhere and he also didn't feel to do anything.

As he stares aimlessly looking at the ceiling, the doctor come for his usual mini checkup. That's when he knows it's the 3rd December and tomorrow is his birthday. The fifth loneliest birthday since he left what he cheered the most.

Four years. He's been alone for four years on his birthday. It's a lie to say that he didn't missed the members. Heck, he was always with the members during his birthday. Always. He was not even with his family members for his birthday ever since he first met Bangtan.

His birthday in fact always stuck in between the group's schedule either the during the award ceremonies during the rehearsal for the upcoming performance in the next few days.

He was always with the members but ever since he walked out on them four years ago, he didn't even realise the day for his birthday anymore. Everything is so dry, everything is so empty.

He still remembers the third year since he left them, on his birthday to be exact.

He wanted to take a walk, he did take a walk for some fresh air, getting coffee and sort of from the cafe nearby until he was ambushed, he was harassed by the sudden appearance of the paparazzis and the people. Or were they his fans? He didn't know.

He was too scared at that time, he froze on the spot not knowing what to do with the cameras shoved to his face, the flashes and those questions. Trembling on his spot, he was so close to cry in the public up until his saviour which is no one in particular pressing the horns to the gathering because they were taking too much space on the road.

And at that time he ran for his life, as fast as he can to hide somewhere from the people and the paparazzis.

It was so embarrassing and so humiliating at the same time that day, on his birthday. The people were throwing things at him. Small rubbish and something like that. There was even a raw egg in which landed perfectly on his head, breaking into pieces and dripping down staining his clothes. That's for sure was caught on the camera.

Breathing heavily against the wall, he quickly called for his brother for help, telling him everything in short words.

It was the worst timing ever, his brother was preparing to perform a surgery on a patient.

He swears he could hear his brother cursed at the other side of the phone call. Pretty sure he was worried about him but at the same time he couldn't leave the hospital just like that.

Ten minutes later a black lavish car arrived there, a young lady ran to him, covering him with more clothes protecting him from the cold of December.

It was his sister-in-law. The moment he saw her there, he didn't think for long as he grabbed the hem of her coat sleeve, he was so relieved that someone he knew was there. She quickly took him inside the car and drove far away from there.

Jin felt asleep, to worn out from winning the marathon against the paparazzis. Exactly when he blinked open his eyes, they have arrived at his family house.