Butterfly || Jin

03 - Hesitation

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"The heart's grave, a lifetime regret"

...

"Mother and father didn't like to wait Seokjin, you know about it yourself. They noticed everything about you. They care for you Jin, you are our baby. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but they are growing old, they wanted the best for you"

"Have you ever thought of their suggestion? Have you ever thought of accepting their hands?" The brother says in his gentle voice, making sure his baby brother didn't misunderstand him.

"I do, I think about that every moment I can. You didn't trust me either? When things get hard, when things really get hard I will accept their hands. I'm not rejecting them hyung" the younger let out a sigh before replying to his brother.

"I swear Jin, I swear to god that I didn't like how they treated you. If you aren't this stubborn, I swear I already pull you out from that company a long time ago. They don't deserve to treat my brother like that, it's me, it's only me can do that to you and I don't even want to treat you like that"

The tone Seokjung used is something else. It sounds gentle yet fierce.

"I know hyung. I'm clearly aware of that. You and mother, father too said the same thing over again and again but please put a faith in me. Believe me for once. I know I'm stubborn but this is the life I choose" Jin looks up meeting eyes with his brother's.

Seokjung looks back at Jin. The surrounding turns silent. He studies the younger's expression before asking him a question.

"Did you really enjoy doing this? Are happy with it?"

He used to. He used to feel his heart beating of excitement, of joy for doing what he wanted to but now, he didn't know anymore if he could give his brother a concrete answer for that.

To say he didn't enjoy at all is truly a lie but to say he fully enjoy is not right either.

"It's feel like you're doubting my decision. I'm a grown up man hyung, I know what to do by myself. If I need help, I will go straight to you, to mother, to father. You know me hyung, I never lie to you" Jin replies, he knows his family well.

"You never lie but hide. Two different words but somehow close to another" the brother states, sharp and clear.

"Hyung please-" Jin tries, wanted to reply but before he could finished his words, he was cut.

"Mother wanted to see you by this weekend, can you make it? There will be a family gathering, a whole family gathering" Seokjung says, he didn't want to have an argument with his brother if they continue the topic so instead of letting Jin continue his words, he cuts.

"I hate being in crowd" Jin mutters under his breath.

"You are an idol Seokjin, You stand in front of the crowd of all the time. They are not the merely crowd, they are our family" Seokjung replies.

"They will keep asking me things, I didn't like when they did that to me" he explains.

"Stick close to me and mother, they will not bother you" the brother states.

"I will try to make it, tell mother I will call her in the morning, and hyung-"

"Yes" the brother looks up to him once again.

"Don't worry about me, I'm grown up" Jin says, smiling a bit.

"You are still younger than me, you are still my baby brother" the brother replies.