Forever & Always

Chapter 16

February 9, 2012
Emily and JJ's house

JJ's POV

For the past four days, Emily's been trying to put off the conversation. I didn't want to push her but I did really want to talk to her. I want to help her but Dr. Miller said I can't help her if she doesn't want my help. I can start the conversation but if Emily doesn't engage with me the conversation is pointless so I have to wait until she's up for talking.

I try not to worry too much but it's hard when I know she's in pain but she just can't figure out a way to talk about it. I watch her eat once maybe twice a day and so far for the past four nights she's had nightmares but she won't let me console her. I'm trying to be patient but it's hard when you can't hug the love of your life while she's whimpering because of nightmares.

I already know tonight is going to be another one of those nights. It's around 10 o'clock at night, I walked into the bedroom to see Emily sound asleep. I was hoping to talk to her tonight but I guess not. I change into one of her big shirts and just stay in my underwear. I get in the bed and put my hand on her back to see if she's really sleeping, I feel her slowly breathing and I know she's out cold.

I take this time to call my mom and Henry who have been in Pennsylvania for the last week visiting my family. I go to her contact but before I press the video call button I put in my headphones so they don't wake up Emily.

"Hey, Jenny." My mom says smiling.

"Hey mom, how's everything?" I say quietly.

"It's good, Henry's having fun." She says, "How's it going over there with Emily and everything? Is she talking or anything?" She asks concern. Emily is my moms other daughter so she's just as concerned about Emily as I am.

I shake my head, "Nope she's avoiding that conversation like it's the plague." I say sadly.

"It's going to get better, she can't avoid it forever."

"Yeah, but she could avoid it until she breaks again and that's not what I want," I say.

"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to get better." I shrug, I know it's true but I don't want Emily to go through this alone. "Hold on Henry's coming." She smiles.

Henry jumps in my moms lap, turning to the camera with chocolate all over his face. "Mommy!" He yells into the phone.

"Henry." I mock him.

He giggles, "What are doing?" He asks.

"I'm talking to you then I'm going to read a book and go to sleep," I say.

"Boring! Me and Mikey are having smores." Mikey is one of my cousins kids, he's 2 years older but they have a lot of fun together.

"Was it good?" He nods. "Are you having a good time with nana and your cousins?" He nods, again. "Are you ready to come home?"

"No!" He whines.

I laugh, "I'm just playing you. Youre not coming home for another week, so you get plenty of time with Mikey."

He giggles again, "Momma?" He asks.

I let out a deep sigh, "She sleeping, see?" I turn the camera to show him. "I can tell her to call you in the morning if you want to?" He nods.

We talk for another twenty minutes, he tells me about the adventures he went on with my mom and Mikey. He was mixing up words and pronouncing them very wrong but I let him continue because I got the gist of his stories.

I was deeply engaged in the conversation with Henry when I felt Emily's body shiver and her whimper. I tried to continue in the conversation knowing she won't want me to help her but as her whimpers turn into words filled with terror, I couldn't take it anymore.