(Home)Less Without You

10

TW's:
*Short talk about suicide
*Short talk about death
*Mental breakdown

I had closed my eyes after shortly talking with Sapnap and they sat down behind the PC.

'If we edit that part like this, I think it will come over as funnier,' George said.

'Probably. We can maybe ask Bad to send us his footage too?'

'Yeah, that might be a good idea. Oh and this part, I really want to cut that out. That joke may not land for everyone, I don't want to come across rude or anything.'

'Yeah, that's fine we can cut it. This part is also a little boring, maybe we put in a time-lapse or we just cut it out?'

'Just cut it out.'

I looked at the screen, it was interesting me. 'May I ask what you are doing?' I whispered.

George turned around and smiled. He rolled his chair away from his PC and showed me the screen. 'We are editing this video, but there are some things that aren't really good for the YouTube video.'

'It's interesting,' I said. 'I have always been interested in editing, but I never had something to edit.'

'You should really become a YouTuber, what's holding you back?'

'I'm afraid they won't like me, and definitely not in your videos. You have been uploading for a year now and I can't just randomly come in and be like: hey guys, I'm now interrupting the whole friend dynamic between those guys and I'm probably not even seen as their friends.'

'I'm your friend. You're literally staying with me here in my apartment.'

'Just out of pity.'

'What no? I invited you over because you were sick and evicted, but now you are my friend, right?'

'Really?'

'Yeah of course, dude. I might joke around with you a lot, but you're my friend.'

'Thanks.'

'No need to thank me. I would love to introduce you in my videos. You seem like a very funny guy and it would definitely fit our dynamic. We could livestream together sometimes. When you're feeling better of course.'

'Sounds like fun, I'm down. What are you going to say? I would rather not have everyone know I got evicted.'

'I understand, I can just tell them I was looking for a roommate and you just appeared.'

'Okay, thanks.'

'No problem.'

'I'm also here for you, I don't know what you went through, but it must be awful to get evicted.'

I suddenly felt myself getting emotional and a tear suddenly dropped down my cheek. George stood up and sat next to me.

'Are you alright?'

'I miss my home so much, I just-.' Tears streamed down my face. I cried harder and harder and within seconds I had completely broken down. George had grabbed my hand and softly rubbed his thumb over the top of it.

'I'm probably just emotional because of my fever, but I miss it so much. I had painted everything and I made everything like I wanted it to be,' I said. Tears kept streaming down. 'I- I want to go back so badly. Of course I like it here, but this isn't my home, I have to leave here eventually and I will have to sleep on the streets again.'

'I won't let you leave my place until you found something.'

'But that will probably be forever.'

'Clay, you're twenty-one. You will get a job and you will find a place.'

'No one will ever want me, I am ugly, I have old clothes, I look homeless- I am homeless.'

'This is why I want you to be in my videos.'

I hid my face in the pillow and closed my eyes. 'I have such a bad headache.'

'You're sick, Clay. You will feel better soon, okay?'

I nodded softly and grabbed George's hand tightly. 'You are literally the only one I have in my life. I have no parents, I have no friends. My dad killed himself after my mum died because of a heart attack. I have been to so many foster families, no one wanted me. I was unbearable, I had no friends. I- I have no one, I'm alone and I can't even pay my rent.'

'You have us,' Sapnap said. 'I would love to be your friend.'

'I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and dad. That must have been awful for you. Do you want to talk about it?'

I shrugged. 'I don't know really. I just- want a hug.'

George smiled as he hugged me tightly.

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