(Home)Less Without You

15

TW's:
*None
But be prepared, this is the last chill chapter, after this one everything is just full of angst

The next day I went on a walk again to prepare my plan. I had to act like I had a girlfriend and so did I. I came back from my walk, smiling brightly. George looked at me and smiled.

'Are you happy?'

'I bumped into a girl and uh- we talked a little. We uh- have like a date this evening.'

'What's the lucky boy's name?'

'She is a girl,' I whispered. 'Stop mocking me, it's annoying.'

'Fine, what's her name?'

'Uh- M-uh- Me- Megan!'

'Ah, Megan. And where are you and Megan going?'

'Park.'

'And don't you think you should introduce her to me too?'

'No! I mean- why?'

'Because I'm your friend and I don't want some weird girl in my house.'

'I just know her.'

'How old is she?'

'Uh- twenty uh- three- no two.'

'Clay, you're a really, but like a really, bad liar. Why are you willing to go this far to prove me you have a girlfriend?'

'Because you laughed at me.'

George giggled a little and walked closer to me. He grabbed my shoulders and smiled. 'I haven't had a girlfriend either. I was just laughing because you were trying so hard to make me think you're straight.'

'But I am straight.'

'Clay, it's fine if you aren't.'

'I am straight, I was just a little confused, but I'm sure I'm straight now.'

'Why were you confused?'

'Because I never had a girlfriend and I'm twenty-one.'

'I'm twenty-four and I never had a girlfriend, it's not that weird.'

'I'm not gay, I don't have feelings for boys,' I whispered.

George smiled and he hugged me. 'It would be fine if you were gay or had feelings for boys.'

'I don't,' I said, releasing myself from his grasp. My face had completely heated up and I stared at my feet. I sighed a little and sat down on the couch, scratching my skin softly.

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.'

'Clay, you're not okay. What's going on? You can talk to me.'

'I- uh- you know-.'

'No, I don't know. I don't understand what's going on.'

I looked at George, he was so incredibly beautiful. I was falling in love, I really was. I was gay, I was freaking gay and I didn't want to. I didn't want to be gay at all. I felt like crying, my only friend- and I was going to ruin it by liking him.

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and startled. 'You're staring, Clay.'

'I'm so sorry,' I said panicking. I jumped up and started walking away, but George grabbed my shoulders.

'Clay, can you just calm down now? You're being so weird, what's wrong, dude?'

'Uh-.'

'Sit down and talk to me now, okay?'

'I have nothing to talk about.'

'Why are you panicking then?'

'I'm not, it's just uh- I-.'

'I'm making you a cup of soup so you can sit a little and calm down.'

I nodded and curled up like a ball, closing my eyes. Why did I have to be gay? Why did I have to like George? Why me? George came back with a cup of soup and I drank it slowly. I started calming down a little and smiled at George.

'Thanks, dude.'

'No worries, do you want to talk?'

'I don't think I do, nothing is wrong really. I'm just weird.'

'I don't think you're just weird, I think something is going on, but if you don't want to talk, that's fine.'

'It's just-.'

'Ssh. You don't have to tell me.'

I nodded and drank my soup again.

'Hey, I'm going to record. I'm upstairs if you need me for something. Please knock on the door first, because I'm recording.'

'Oh, I won't bother you.'

'No, you can. Don't worry, I can just cut it out. I'm always down to talk if you need me.'

'Thanks.'

George smiled and stood up. I look at him as he walked away. Why did this guy have the privilege to be this hot? I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. Before I knew I had tears streaming down my face, I didn't want to be gay. I really didn't want to.

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