(Home)Less Without You

13

TW's:
*None, gay panic again

The livestream went really well, I laughed a lot with George and Sapnap came on the call too for a little. I really had fun and I enjoyed the whole mechanics of streaming. After the stream I went to bed, I was still not feeling extremely well, so I slept at 9pm.

The next morning I had woken up early, I was constantly thinking about George and even worse, I dreamt about him. I dreamt that we actually went on a date together and afterwards- I kissed him. Just when our lips seemed to meet each other's, the dream luckily ended. Of course I didn't want to kiss him, that would be absolutely disgusting and weird. He was a boy and so was I, I wasn't going to kiss one.

Besides all those thoughts there was still one voice in my head constantly telling me I liked George and that I did want to kiss him. That I was secretly gay, but I wasn't. I knew I wasn't, of course not. Although, George was really attractive, but like really attractive. I sighed a little and stood up. I didn't have that many clothes to change in so I grabbed an old hoodie with some sweats. I walked downstairs to see George on the couch. I was going to tell him he could sleep in his own bed again yesterday, but I fell asleep before I even could.

I started making myself some soup and I heard George waking up behind me. I acted like I didn't and George walked towards me. Awfully close to me. I startled a little and immediately blushed.

'Oh uh- George, you can sleep in your bed again. I want to sleep on the couch, it's your house, your bed, I'm not going to steal anything of you. So please don't argue and just sleep in your own bed again.'

'I mean- I don't mind at all, but sure.'

'Thanks. How are you by the way? I mean I have been sick and stuff, are you still feeling okay?'

George shrugged and nodded. 'I feel fine, I'm not sick or anything.'

'Okay good,' I noticed myself talking faster than I had ever done, I was so nervous around George suddenly. My face had heated up again and I quickly walked away with my soup.

'Dude? Are you alright?' George asked.

'Uh why? Of course, I'm uh- I'm totally fine. Why wouldn't I? I uh-.'

'Do you have a crush on me or something? You're so stressed around me suddenly.'

I knew I was as red as a tomato now. 'A crush?' I whispered with a small voice crack.

'I'm kidding, Clay.'

'Oh uh- haha. I think uh- oh yes- I'm going for a walk.'

'Are you good?'

'Totally good, I'm uh- I'll be right back.'

'Dude, what the hell is suddenly wrong with you? Are you always this weird?'

'Uh- no, I mean yes!'

'What the hell? You're so confusing.'

'Walk.'

'Yeah, you said that.'

I stood up and looked around me.

'Maybe a coat?' George said very confused.

'Coat, of course. Uh- where?'

'Literally where you left it yesterday.'

'But where did I leave it yesterday?'

'Okay, now just stop.' George came closer to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, causing me to panic even more. 'Can you calm down, please? You're stressing me out with your panicking behaviour.'

'Coat.'

'Dude, calm down. Sit down for a little, what's going on?'

'It's just uh- my ADHD you know, I used to have medication, but it made me stoned, so I stopped with it. But now uh- I get really hyper and panicky. I just want to do everything at the same time and I can't concentrate on anything. And I just lose all my stuff.'

'Okay, calm down at first. There is your coat. You're now just going to take a little walk, okay? Everything else you wanted to do in that one minute is going to be later. Now just walk for a little.'

I nodded and stood up, he was way too close. So close that my face had immediately warmed up and my cheeks were burning. 'I'm uh- going to be right back. No worries, I'm alright now.'

George shrugged and rolled his eyes. 'You're such an idiot.'

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