(Home)Less Without You

22

TW's:
*Mentions death family member
*Suicidal thoughts
*Mentions accusations sexual assault
*Mentions self harm

I started walking away, but George grabbed my shoulders.

'Freaking listen to me.'

I got furious now.

'Get the hell away from me, let me go. Shut that freaking mouth of yours. What do you want, you idiot? I already know you're homophobic, I already know you hate me, I already know you never want to see me again. I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO DIE.'

I turned around and clenched my fists.

'I'm not homophobic.'

'Why did you make up this freaking story then, you idiot. I actually- I'm going to freaking hit you if you don't let me go now.'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.'

'Oh no sure, you can kill someone and say: oh sorry I didn't mean it, and everything is alright again.'

George grabbed my wrist and I winced.

'What the hell?' George said. He grabbed my sleeves and rolled them up. I got so angry that I slapped him in his face. He didn't seem to care at all and he looked at my arm.

'Stay off me, idiot,' I screamed at him, and I rolled my sleeves down.

'Did you cut yourself?'

'WHY DO YOU CARE?'

'I'm your friend.'

'Oh, of course. I'm your friend, bye George. How dare you even say that after kicking me out for kissing you. It was a mistake, okay? I can tell you, I will never ever kiss you again in my whole freaking life. I won't even be able to when I freaking die.'

'Die?'

'You're so dumb. You're actually dumber than anyone I have ever met.'

'What do you mean die?'

'I'm freaking killing myself, George. And I can tell you, I don't care about what you think. You can't save me, you don't care about me. Just leave me alone now.'

'No, you're not killing yourself, Clay. You have so much to live-.'

'WHAT?'

'Uh- well. Your friends-.'

'Who are my friends? Because for as far I know my friends left me because I made one mistake.'

'Uh- your family-.'

'MY FAMILY IS DEAD.'

'Uh- maybe an aunt or something?'

'Both my parents were only children, my grandpa and grandma both died. I have nothing George, I have nothing. And for some reason I just had that small bit of hope when you didn't immediately push me away. I thought you liked it, I thought you- you liked me. But of course you didn't, I'm just stupid and I know I am. I just only had good intentions, I only just wanted to kiss with you. I should have asked for consent, of course I should have, but it was just the moment. We were so close and you were so sweet. I just could only think about kissing you.'

'I'm sorry- I-.'

'Just stop saying sorry, you made it clear enough that I'm wrong here. And yes, I was wrong by kissing you. That was the worst mistake I ever made, I was also very wrong by loving you apparently. Oh and did I forget to mention, I'm probably also very wrong by being gay. Yes, I like boys, am I disgusting now?'

'You aren't-.'

'Why did you freaking accuse me of sexual assault then?'

'I had too- I-.'

'No George, you didn't have to. You could also break me with telling everyone I am gay and I kissed you, you didn't have to make up that story. You just really didn't. Saying I touched you and did such a thing, you can't be trusted with anything. You could have even considered keeping the kiss a secret, just considered it. But you literally immediately told Sapnap that I'm gay and I kissed you. You really didn't have to. You really didn't.'

'I- he- I just-.'

'You don't even have a freaking reason. I'm really leaving now. Don't you dare coming after me, I don't want you here anymore. You broke me, you actually did. I was in love with you, George. I was in love with you and I just couldn't resist myself from kissing you. I only had good intentions, if you told me you didn't want that, I would have stopped immediately. But you didn't, George. You didn't tell me anything and you just let me kiss you. I only touched your freaking cheek with my hand because I liked the kiss and I- you know what, just let it go. I don't want to speak to you anymore, so leave me alone.'

742 words