(Home)Less Without You

17

TW's:
*Homophobia
*Accusations sexual assault

I can't help myself, I just wanna post and read comments LMAO

I kept walking towards the park, putting my stuff on the ground. I laid down on the same and hard bench as last time, but this time I had no pillow, no blanket. I had nothing. It was still snowing and it was probably a couple degrees below zero. It was freezing and the bench was wet. I shivered because of the cold and curled up like a ball, tears streaming down. This time I had no one anymore, the only one who helped me kicked me out.

How could I been this stupid? Why did I kiss him? Why the hell did I kiss him? I ruined everything, I was the stupidest person on this whole earth and I hated myself for it more than anything. I kissed my friend and he saw it as sexual assault. I heard my phone buzz, I smiled a little. Would George text me again?

I opened my phone and looked at the message, but then I startled. It was Sapnap, and it wasn't a very nice message.

Sap
wtf is wrong with u, did u touch george?

You
i kissed him and im so sorry

Sap
u didnt just kiss him

You
huh? yes i did

Sap
ur disgusting, dont ever touch my friend again

You
i didnt touch him in any other way that by kissing him

Sap
he told me differently

You
i beg u, i didnt touch him

Sap
oh sure, sure im gonna believe u over my friend

You
wtf listen to me, i didnt touch him

Sap
u did, arsehole

You
I FREAKING DIDNT, I PROMISE

Sap
sure

I got so angry that I called him out of pure rage. He took the call.

'What the hell, Clay?'

'I didn't touch him, I DIDN'T. Just believe me. I tell you everything that happened, okay? I was crying my freaking eyes out when George went upstairs to record the video, because I found out I am gay and I don't want to be gay. Well, George heard me scream and he came downstairs, he hugged me and I just started falling so hard for him and I kissed him.'

'Well, I knew that already.'

'But that's everything that happened. The only thing I did was kiss him, I cupped his face with one hand and my other hand was just resting on my lap. I really didn't do anything else, he pushed me away after ten to fifteen seconds and he started swearing at me.'

'You're a good liar.'

'I'm not lying. I can't even lie, I will start stuttering when I lie.'

'Yeah sure.'

'Please believe me, Sapnap. Can I- I really need a place to stay, I'm so cold.'

'Well not in my house, I don't want a rapist in my house.'

'Rape?'

'What you put your tongue in his mouth, you touched him and you wanted to rape him.'

'What? No! I didn't do that at all, why would I do that? I'm not sick in my head.'

'He told me you did.'

'Why would he say that, is he homophobic?'

'He isn't.'

'Well, it seems that way, and you are just as homophobic as he is. You know, just leave me alone. I wouldn't even care if I freaking died here. And you know I'm probably going to, since I'm severely hypothermic already. I'm here freaking without my coat in the snow on a wet bench. Well, you all have probably never really cared about me, but I just- just tell George that I like him and I didn't mean to assault him. I just really like him a lot and I'm gay, I just wanted to kiss him. I'm sorry, okay? I'm very sorry. He didn't immediately push away, so I thought he liked it too.'

It stayed quiet.

'I'm really sorry. I just like George a lot, not only as friends. I think I was falling in love, but not anymore. He- I- bye Sapnap. I'm sorry for being gay, I'm sorry for liking your best friend. I actually didn't rape him or anything like that. I just kissed him, and that was wrong of me. I shouldn't have kissed him, I actually shouldn't have. But I didn't touch him in any other way. Yes, I like him, yes I kind of fell in love with him, but no, I'm not sick in my head. I'm sorry Sap, just leave me alone now.'

I hung up, crying my eyes out.

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