Broken pieces

chapter 1 - father and daughter time

 this is my first story here. it would mean a lot for me if you could just give it a read. It is just my first chapter , but there will be others. I hope you will enjoy it. 

   I set off my alarm. God , I hate that sound! I jump lazily out of bed. I didn't even get a good sleep last night. Half of the night I spent it thinking about how my first day of college is going to be. And by thinking I mean freaking out. The other half, when I finally fell asleep, I had nightmares haunting me. They felt so real that I even started crying at night. I am just so sick and tired of having them every single night, not being able to sleep.

    I take a look of myself at the mirror. Wow, one word: DISASTER! I am a total mess. I can notice the black circles under my eyes, my hair are flying all over the place. I literally look like somebody has punched me in my face. My body hurts. Oh, and did I mention it is my first day of college? 

    "Katy, honey, breakfast is ready. Come on! We don't want to be late"  my dad shouts from the kitchen.

   "Coming dad" I respond. " OK ! I have got to do something about this " I say taking another look of my reflection in the mirror and not being happy at all with what i am seeing. "I don't want to scare the crap out of anybody". I decide to take a morning shower. Hopefully, it would make me feel a little bit better. As I feel the hot water running through my body, my mind sets off to everything : my dad, my first day of college, everything I have been through and everything that brought me here today. I hate myself for overthinking. I wish I could just shut out my mind and just let things flow. Anyways, I felt more relaxed once I took the shower. I blow-dry my hair and then pull them up in my usual ponytail. I don't have a lot of thinking about what to wear. I just put on my favourite skinny jeans, a black plain shirt and a pair of white converse. I felt the urge of putting some makeup on to hide the dark circles still showing under my eyes, some mascara and a cherry lipstick.

  " OK, now you are gonna go to college. You are taking a degree and become who you always wanted to be. Nothing else matters. Your future starts now and it is going to be freaking awesome" - I say to myself taking a deep breath and preparing myself for what is yet to come.

  " Took you long enough to get ready ! " my dad scolded me.

  " Dad, I am  a girl. We do that. Besides, cut me some slack. You are talking to a college girl now! " I say hugging him. " I saw that ! There it is. Now I can say my day is off to a good start " I tease him as i see his smile. I really appreciate each  one of them as they don't come around very often. Well not since my... There is no need to bring back bad memories. I had enough of them last night.

My dad has a very beautiful smile. His big brown eyes are all brighten up and filled with life and joy. And it is in moments like this that I remember the happy, radiant man he used to be.

  " Yeah , you smartass. Eat your cereals. We have only three hours left and we don't want to be late" my dad notes again kissing my forehead. I love it when he does that. It makes me feel safe and forget about everything bad that it has ever happened to me.

  " Cereals? No pancakes? Come on dad! There is no special treat for the college girl? You do realize that I am moving to another country , right? " I say smiling. But a part of me was crying  because I had never thought of that until now. I was moving to another country and leaving my dad alone.

   " Yeah, any other requests? Maybe next time you come visit me, you'll make some pancakes for me? " he says and I can tell the saddness in his eyes.

   " Ha.Ha.Ha. Funny dad" and I put my are-you-serious face on. My dad knows that cooking is not my thing. Thank god dad knows how to cook. He just enjoys making fun of me about that. And I just enjoy seeing him happy.

I start eating. My dad too. I can tell that he wants to talk to me about something, but dad has never been good at words. Him and I...We have another kind of understanding.

  "Spill it out dad ! I can tell you want to talk to me about something".

  " Katy, you know I love you. You are everything to me. The most important thing I have in life and I thank God everyday for you. For a long time now it has been only you and me,together. We are the father and daughter team, remember? The last thing I want to see, is you moving away from me.......Please katy, let me finish" he cuts me off. " I know it's for the best. And I also know I can trust you to do the right choices in life...The thing is...it is just so hard for me not seeing you everyday and making sure myself that you are Ok. I see you, and all I can think of is when the doctor told me 'it is a girl ' . I made a promise to myself that i will never leave you alone and that I will take care of you until I gasp my last breath. You are my daughter and you know you can count on me for everything. Absolutely everything.." he finishes off and I can swear I saw tears in his eyes. I don't say anything to him about that because I know he hates seeing him cry.

  " Oh dad, I am speechless. I love you so so much. You are the best dad in the whole universe. I don't know what I would do without you.." I say and I lean over to hug him. I am gonna miss him so much.

   " OK, I j-j-just wanted you to know that. Now, let's finish eating and then off we go" he says.

 " OK dad"