Broken pieces

college,here I come

The ride to the college is silent. I guess we both have a lot of things going on in our minds. You wanna know what I was thinking?

I was being selfish, thinking only about myself. I was recalling my life. My damaged, broken life. Everything was going  fine with it, but I guess too much happiness is just too perfect. Then, everything went upside- down. The only thing that kept me going was my dad and my dream of becoming a writer. Since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted to do was write. I felt like words could literally suffocate me, unless I wrote them down. When I did something wrong, I used to apologise by letter, because it felt more real to me. I don't know how else to put it. All I know is that it is my biggest dream and I am just a few more steps away from reaching it.

I was thinking about how empty my life has been and how stupid I've been for trusting people. I shouldn't have. I should've known better than to do so.

   " Katy, are you Ok? You kind of zoned out " my dad's voice brought me around. " You have been so quiet. It is so unlike you " my dad tries to joke around.

   " Yeah, dad. Just thinking. I just..... I-I just miss her dad. I miss her so much " I say and I hardly hold back some tears that try to escape from my eyes.

   " Me too honey. Me too " my dad says and his face immediately frowns.

   " Sorry dad! I didn't mean to make you feel sad " I try to apologise to him. What was I thinking bringing that back to him ? You stupid mouth ! " Hey, what was that about me talking a lot ? well.. I can't help it if I have interesting things to say." I tease him, trying to push away the dark clouds that I unwittingly brought on.

   " Oh, yeah. I'm sure you do. " my dad fakes a smile.

....

....

We are finally on campus. I can feel my heart beating faster and I just don't know why am I being so afraid. I mean it is just college. I brought my ass down here without anybody's help, so I can certainly make it. Adding the fact that I was born to be a writer and it's my dream of a lifetime.... But then again....I guess I am just too afraid of people...NEW PEOPLE!  And I ... I-I am not ready to let people in just yet.  I have had some bad experiences before and... "You coward" I say to myself. " Stop acting like a dumb. You are strong. You can make it. Just be yourself" I keep repeating to myself.   Let us be straight. I don't care what other people think of me. I never did because I understood that the sooner you stop caring what others think of you, the sooner you can show your true colours. That's been my motto in life. " Be the best you can be! Be who you want to be! "

  " Earth to Katy!!!! " my dad says as he is snapping his fingers in front of my face.

  "  I zoned out again didn't I ? " I ask.

  " YOU think ?? I' ve been talking to you for about two minutes and your face was totally blank.What's with the thinking? You are not chickening out are you ??? " my dad says.

    " Bite your tongue dad. You know I would never do that. Besides if I think a lot, it means a have a brain. You should be proud " I say and move to the car trunk to take my luggage.

    " You and your responses " my dad giggles. " Let me do that for you" and then he grabs my stuff and we start walking to the college secretariat. Oh. and have I ever mentioned that I got in to Princeton? Hell yeah, I am here. Anyway, we found out were my room was and then we got there.

   My dorm is pleasant, but of course it misses my touch , but later on I am going to decorate it my own way. You see, the thing is that I had to share it with this girl...

   "Hi, you must be my roommate. I am Rein. You are???? " the girl introduced herself to us. She had already unpacked and she was, I have to say, messy. Oh, who cares!! I am kinda messy myself and that's why I almost high-fived the girl. I know i said I don't like new people and that I am afraid of them, but for some reason, unknown to me, I liked her. She was so beautiful and I thought to myself " I look like a monkey compared to her" but then again, who cares. I am unique in my own way...Anyway, I was supposed to talk about her. She has gorgeous blue eyes that seem so angelic, long blonde curly hair. She is about my height ( well we at least have that in common) and has an elegant figure. I must have been staring at her for quite a long time because my dad pinched me to make me react and I noticed she raised her eyebrow.

    " I am Crystal, but everybody calls me Katy. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense. You should ask my dad about that " I say and I point at my dad who was just standing there.

    " Hi, I am Jim, Katy's father. Nice to meet you." he introduces himself.

   " nice to meet you too, sir." she says to my father with a smile in her face. My God...she has such a perfect smile. " So we are roommates from now and on" she turns to me. " I really hope we can get along. I like you. " she says.

  Am I supposed to say I like you too?? No, I am not saying that. Instead I just say : " Thank you. I hope so too." There. That was better.

...

....

  "Katy, I should better get going now. I brought you here, I met your roommate, I know were you live and I am more calm now. " my dad says after twenty minutes we spent talking to Rein and getting to know her.

   " Ok, dad. I love you and we'll talk over the phone. Don't even think you got rid of me. You know I am a pain in the ass. " I tease him

  " A pain I would gladly  put up with 'til the rest of my life " my dad says as he kisses my forehead. " I love you honey".

 And then off he goes..I am left in here with the new girl staring at me. So I decide to start unpacking.

...

...

   " So were are you from ?' rein asks me. Well she has the right to know. I mean I already know were she is from, how many members does her family consists of and etc etc. 

   " I am from New York " I say.

   " I have always wanted to go there " she notes.

  " yeah, It is the city who never sleeps, you know. But I really think he should sleep some times. It would be a lot better." I say smiling.

   " yeah , it really should. You seem so nice. And funny you know ? Has anybody ever told you that ? " she says, so naturally, just being friendly. I like her. We could really be friends together. She doesn't seem like one that would stab me in the back. So I decided to open up a bit. I can not live in fear.

   " Yes they have, but they never meant it. They were actually just making fun of me. " I say and smile shyly. When I said open up I didn't mean So open, but there was something about her. I really felt we could be best friends. And when you know, you just know.

She came to my bed and hugged me. " Well, they must've been really stupid" she said. I hugged her back and I felt friendship again. I missed that feeling....Not that I really had it.