Brought Us Together

Chapter 7

You went into your room, exhausted from the briefing which lasted until midnight. Steve told the five of you the plan when Clint and Rhodes arrived. Clint came in a Quinjet that you sent out and Rhodes arrived as Tony had. Rhodes questioned everything in the plan, trying to cover any issues that could occur. Clint tried to contact Natasha in the code the pair came up with but found nothing in any line he hacked. Each time he failed, he would sigh in frustration and sip on the coffee you made everyone.

Steve actually considered leaving you here at the Compound, saying that you could potentially give yourself up if it came to that. You had ranted non-stop for about an hour, telling him why you should go and not stay behind. Bucky stopped you from ranting more and sat you down again, calming you down by rubbing your arm. You had fallen asleep while the others went through the files you had already read.

Bucky made sure not to move much when your head fell onto his shoulder. He didn't want to be the one to wake you up after the day's events so he let Steve do it. As expected by him, a good amount of profanities had tumbled out of your mouth when Steve woke you up. Steve's eyes widened in surprise and amusement. Tony chuckled at the colourful words while Rhodes tried not to laugh. Clint was still busy trying to track Natasha down and confirm that they were held in Canada, hence not noticing the swearing. 

You flopped onto your bed and fell asleep immediately, exhaustion taking over you.

- - - - -

The sun seemed shy in the morning and decided to stay behind clouds. Your room was left in complete darkness while you were curled into a ball on your bed, cold since your blanket laid where it had when you slept. You shivered as your eyes fluttered open when a small knock came from your door. You groaned and got up to see the clock. It was almost seven in the morning, a little earlier than you would usually wake up. Yawning, you made your way to open the door.

"The jet leaves in an hour," Steve announced. "Get yourself and your stuff ready. We got confirmation from Clint that Natasha and the others are held at the base in Yukon, Canada."

"Did he finally trace Wanda's stored energy?" You asked, remembering that you had suggested the idea. The energy inside of Wanda was enough to track down, especially when she wasn't using it. Even if she does use it, the radar would pick up on that as well.

"Yeah," Steve answered, leaning on the door frame. "He gave up on trying to decrypt codes after he decrypted one which said something about pizza being better than burgers." You let out a small chuckle and nod.

"I can agree with that." Steve fell silent as his concerned eyes scanned you. "Don't worry Steve. I'll be fine and won't give myself up. I promise." You placed your hand on his forearm, giving it a comforting squeeze. He nodded hesitantly. "I'll be down in a few." He nodded once more and pushed off the wall to walk towards Bucky's room next.

You closed the door and let out a small sigh, the events that occurred finally hitting you fresh. Your mind started to spin, feet tripping over each other as you walked to the bathroom. Finally reaching the door, after what felt like an eternity, you closed the door behind you as you entered the bathroom. You put your forehead against the cool door and let out a gentle sigh. Your heart hammered in your ears and your shoulders started to shake, letting out silent tears. The events of yesterday were just hitting you like a wave and you knew that you could have saved the four, which made it worse.

The guilt started to pile on you, even when the tears stopped. You stripped off your clothes and started the shower, not caring that it was cold. You felt numb enough to not care if it burned you or froze you. You rinsed your hair and then your body. Letting the tears fall once again, you let the water cover your tears. You covered your mouth as a sob threatened to escape but it did anyway. And another, and another. You shut the shower abruptly and wrapped a towel around yourself.

"[Y/N]." Bucky's voice came from the other side of the bathroom. There was no doubt that he had heard your cries.

Bucky was in your room to bring your morning tea like he would any other day. He had heard the shower and was going to just leave the mug full of tea on your nightstand, but your sobs had stopped him from leaving. The first one he thought that he had imagined but then the second and third that followed, broke his heart. It shattered him to hear you cry like that. His mind was screaming at him to leave you alone, the reasoning being that maybe you didn't need him. His heart, nonetheless, dragged him over and made him say your name loud enough for you to hear.

Your eyes darted to the door and you didn't hesitate to open it, not giving a shit that you wore only a towel to cover yourself. Bucky stood there with a concerned look aimed at you. His eyes were fixed on your face, not wandering around your body, like a gentleman. He looked at your bloodshot eyes and wanted to embrace you, whisper soothing nonsense into your ear. He was hesitant to reach out for you but you need to touch him so you swung your arms around his neck, burying your face into the crook of his neck. You breathed in his scent and realized how much you need human affection and touch.

His arms wrapped around your waist, hoping that it would help whatever reason you were crying. His shirt was getting wet with your tears but he couldn't care less. He wanted to say something to help but didn't, not knowing what was bothering you. His arms tightened when your grip on him faltered. A sob broke into the silence, making him kiss your hair and squeeze your hip reassuringly.

You two stayed in each other's arms for another few minutes in complete silence before you spoke up.

"I'm going to kill him."