Not Good Enough

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I am so sorry.

T/W: Depression, Su!cide attempt. I'm begging you, if you are sensitive to either of those topics, please don't read this, I don't want anything triggered.

Bad was tired. Tired of people taking advantage of his kindness. Tired of the teasing, the bullying, the pain. Tired of waking up everyday and having to show a fake smile. Tired of speaking nicely to everyone, when all he got in return was people calling him names, or being made fun of. Tired of feeling not good enough.

Bad was sad. Sad about feeling lost. Sad about feeling alone. Sad about feeling hopeless, empty and ignored. Sad about closing off from people. Sad because nobody appreciated his talent. Sad because he felt as though he was not good enough.

Bad was angry. Angry because he felt neglected. Angry because he didn't know how to open up. Angry because he was to scared to ask for help. Angry because he can't trust anyone. Angry because he feels not good enough.

But that's fine. Bad was fine, everything was fine. He knew he wasn't good enough and that he never will be.

Hes coped. Hes delt with it. Hes hidden it, locked it away and kept it down. But that was only temporary. He didn't wanna keep it in anymore. He wanted to shout out his pain to the whole world. He wanted everyone to know he wasn't okay. He wasn't fine. But he couldn't. And he knew that. So, what better way to deal with it, then just ending it all?

And so here he was. Standing on the edge of a large building, looking down at the large city. Oh the city was beautiful. The twinkling lights into the darkness. The peaceful sound of just cars, and wind. Bad let in a large breath. He smiled, knowing that nobody can stop him now. Nobody can stop him from ending it all. Nobody was here to stop him from ending his pain. Well, he thought. Suddenly, multiple police cars drove by, to the to opposite side of the building. Bad watched them, uninterested and stared back into the sky. He was ready.

Suddenly multiple police officers came running through the door from behind him. "Hey Buddy..can you please step away from the edge..I know you're in pain..but It'll go away..you just need to wait.." A female police officer spoke softly, though her voice was trembling. Bad let out a hallow laugh. "Go away? Just wait? Hah! I'm tired of that! I've been waiting for far to long."

"Hello? What do you need its literally like 1am" Skeppy groaned, answering Dreams phonecall. "S-skeppy, get up, have you seen the news?" Dream asked wearily. "Dream? Why do you sound so worried? And no I haven't, why?" Skeppy started to get slightly anxious and more awake, because of the alarm in his friends voice. "L-look...Skeppy, I need you to go to the huge office building in town, quick." Dream said. "Why..? Can't I do this is the morning?" "No! Skeppy look..I don't..I can't..look..it's about Bad, he's..hes on the rooftop, and it seems like he's about to jump." And just like that, Skeppys keys were in his hand, his phone was on the floor, and tears were building up in his eyes.

Skeppy pulls up to the building, throwing himself out the of the car. Police cars and the fire department were all around the building. He looked up to the top, and saw his multiple people on top of the building. But he knew his best friend when he saw him. He started at Bad, who was very close to the edge. Skeppy bolted his way to the door to try to get to the top, but a police officer stopped him. "Sorry Kid, you can't go up there." Said the police officer. Skeppy growled at the man and tried to push his way through, but the police officer didn't budge. "Thats my best friend up there!" Skeppy yelled at the officer. Still, he didn't let him pass. "Let him pass." Said a voice from behind him. Skeppy turned around to see another officer. "I-" the officer covering the door, cut himself off and moved out of the way. Skeppy instantly ran as fast as he could to the top, once he got there, he pushed passed police officers. "B-bad!" Skeppy ran to his best friends side. Bad didn't respond. But the smile on his face vanished. Skeppy stared at his best friend, tears falling down his face. Skeppy shakily grabbed Bads hand, holding it. Bad lifted his head up to look at his best friend. A tear fell from his eye, but he still did not say anything. "B-Bad...please. S-step away from the e-edge." Bad shook his head. "I can't." He said dully. Skeppy stared at him, then looked away, staring out into the city. "If you go..so do I." Skeppy said, squeezing Bads hand tighter. His voice held, confidence and seriousness. Bad could tell he wasn't lying.

Bad slowly stepped away from the edge. "Good job.." Spoke a police officer. He knew he would have to suffer, but he will. He can. For his best friend. Skeppy instantly hugs his best friend tightly. He held on, like if he let go, he would just simply disappear. Bad hugged him back, but only lightly.

They walked off the building, Skeppy not letting go of Bads hand.

After many hours of speaking with officers, and Bad agreeing to go to therapy, they were allowed to go home. Skeppy begged Bad to come to his house, which to Bad agreed.

They arrived to Skeppys house. Skeppy wanted to ask questions, and talk to Bad, but it was late, so he wanted to let his best friend sleep. Skeppy let Bad sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch. He'd talk to him the next day.

The next morning Skeppy woke up and waited for Bad to get up.

When Bad woke up, he walked out to the living room, where Skeppy was, and sat down. Skeppy instantly looked at his best friend, who had tears falling down his face. "Skeppy- i-im so so s-sorry-" Bad said, crying. "Oh no, no no no. Bad. Bad. You have nothing to apologize for. Come here." Bad sat closer to Skeppy, as told. Skeppy pulled Bad onto his shoulder, where he let Bad cry. They boys hugged in silence, until Bad was crying a bit less. With Bad still leaning on Skeppy, Skeppy decided to ask Bad a few questions. "Bad. Be honest with me, why?" Skeppy asked. Bad was silent for a minute. "I..I don't know.." Bad said quietly. Skeppy pulled Bad up by his shoulders, and grabbed his chin. "Bad. Don't lie to me..what happened? Why haven't you ever told me, and whats wrong?" Skeppy spoke softly. Bad didn't want to say anything, but knew he had to tell him. "I..I didn't want to b-be annoying. I-i didn't think a-anyone w-would care. I f-felt s-so lost and c-confused. I-i fe-lt so m-many emotions, so i-i didn't k-know-" Bad started to break down. "Shhh..its okay..I understand. Skeppy pulls Bad back down once again, lying Bads head on to his chest. Bad was crying and Skeppy was trying to calm him. He was petting his hair. Shh..Bad its okay.." Skeppy spoke comforting things to Bad softly.
And finally, Bad thought, things just might be ok.

"Bad. Know that I am always, always, here for you. You can talk to me whenever you need. I'm always here. I forever will be. You never need to feel alone. There are so many people here for you, even if it doesn't feel like it."

Aaand same thing goes to all of you guys. I'm sorry about this sad one, but hey, it was supposed to end not to happy, but I couldn't bring myself to it. I don't have much to say, other then, if you ever feel like you have nobody there, trust me, you do. You always will. There is always someone there for you. There is also always another option. Please never feel that you have to take away your own life for you to be happy. I love you all so so much. If you ever feel this way, find someone to talk to. There's always someone. Stay strong my Loves💞

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