Spotlight |h.s|

Fifty Eight

Aubrey Hart

Everything hurts.

My head, my back, my stomach, my muscles, my chest, everything. This physical pain is nothing compared to the intense emotion running through me as I slowly wake up, last night instantly coming back to me in quick flashes that are enough to give me a throbbing headache right behind my eyes.

I never want to move from my spot. I don't want to talk to anyone about what happened. The second the world knows I'm awake, that's what my day will be consumed by. Endless questions about how I am or what exactly has been going on. My moms, Jade, Harry, the other guys, everyone. I appreciate that they even bother enough to ask, but the mere thought of it all makes me want to burst into tears.

This is one of those moments where having Charlie around would really help me out.

His loss is what kills me the most. Not the gunshots, not my own personal danger or the fact that I've moved out of my house, but the loss of one of my only happy reminders of Elora. The one thing that connected me to her in her absence that I could actually tolerate looking at without breaking down. The cat who took her place as my main source of comfort.

My life has been flipped on its head in the past day, and now I'm left to deal with the aftermath. The horrible aftermath that's about as painful as the actual events. I still can't fully grasp any of it. That Charlie isn't waiting by the door for me to come back from Harry's and play with him until he tires out and falls asleep in my lap. That whoever has been texting me tried to hurt me, broke into my house, and has somehow deleted all evidence of it happening. Sure, we have the note, but the capitalized messy handwriting won't do us any good. It's not like they left a pen lying around with any fingerprints on it.

And in the midst of the physical pain and emotional torment of the past day, the warm body protectively blanketed around mine somehow dulls any other feeling. The rise and fall of his chest against my own, the entanglement of our legs beneath his dark comforter, his strong inked arms around my body as his chin rests on my head, and my face buried in the security of his skin. Despite the knowledge of a person watching my every move and willing to hurt me and those I care about to get whatever it is they want, I feel undeniably safe in this tranquil moment.

His warmth is my protector from the rest of the world that time and time again has proved that it's out to get me.

I hug his body to mine a little tighter, not completely used to him reciprocating my level of physical touch. That seems to be a rather dodgy subject for him, which probably has something to do with his seemingly complicated past with Thomas. I only know so much about the subject. Not enough to certainly know why he has a tendency to flinch at every touch.

I flinch at every sound or sudden movement because of my past with guns, so I know from experience that there's a story behind that habit of his. After all, him and I continue to discover that we're more alike than we expected as the days go by.

I feel him lightly stretch his abdomen against me, letting me know that he must be waking up. Before I could even admire his sleeping face, sadly. I know I have many more important things to worry about, but waking up and pretending that everything is normal would be nice.

I slowly peel my eyes open, pulling my head back a bit to look at his face instead of being pushed into e crook of his neck. Sure enough, he's awake and looking down at me. His face is puffy in such an innocent manner, almost making me forget about the demons of his past in relation to both his family and himself. His eyes are swollen from sleep, a lazy upwards curve to his lips as he peers down at my tired face.

"Hi." He speaks hoarsely, his voice deepened due to his past state.

"Hi." I whisper right back, our heads laying on the same pillow and our bodies still tangled together. My throat aches from crying so much and the rasp is very evident in my voice. My face is probably incredibly swollen, my eyes burning now that they're open.