17 Koshi Sugawara

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Plot: Sugawara's wedding is here!

~
"I can't believe it's today." I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

Two large doors stand in my way as selected people surrounded me. It is nerve racking going into this. This would be the last time I see him as my friend, officially.

"Are you okay?" Kiyoko rubs my back, trying to soothe me.

"Yeah! I'm good! Not getting cold feet at all!" I fail to hide the nervousness in my voice.

"Don't worry you won't trip or fall." She giggles at my nervousness. "I'll see you later okay?"

"Okay..."

So then the big doors open and I immediately see his form. It is Sugawara in a beautiful tailored suit. It complimented his body so well and his face, his hair, his everything! He looks perfect.

He made eye contact with me and smiled so brightly that the room might not need its lights anymore.

-
Walking slowly, his eyes seem to follow her every move. Each step, each smile, each wave, his adoring eyes couldn't be taken off of her. She began to tear up half way as she finally felt that this wedding was really happening. That she's going to get married to the love of her life.

Despite tears threatening to fall, she pulled the sweetest and most loving smile. Her soon-to-be husband noticed this and giggled. He found it adorable that his soon-to-be wife was tearing up at such a joyous day.

It was literally like everything around them stopped. All they could focus on was each other. In her mind, everything they've been through played through her mind in mere seconds. Their ups and downs, their highs and lows. No matter what they went through and no matter how tough it was what made them who they are today.

They finally meet at the front of the altar, where they join hands.

"You look so beautiful." He whispers in her ear and he pats her tears away with a handkerchief.

"You're not so bad yourself." She giggles.

"Not feeling nervous anymore?" He rubs the back of her hand lovingly.

"Not at all. Not when you're beside me." She responded confidently, much different from her earlier emotion.

That was how it was supposed to be. A happy ending for the two.
-

I snap back to reality. A cruel reminder of the world that this was my present for my past actions.

I couldn't help but cry with in the crowd of people howling congratulations to the newly wed. Clutching my purse, I bite my lip trying to push down the overwhelming sadness and regret building up over the past years. I began sobbing as the crowd hid my voice overwhelmingly well. No one around knew me so they had no reason to butt in my breakdown, nor was I sure if anyone really saw me as the happy couple began walking down the aisle again.

I calmed myself and looked up with teary eyes as the happy couple passed by. As if in slow motion, Sugawara turned my way and our eyes met. It was like a movie.

His initial reaction was shock, probably from seeing me crying, and then concern. I shook my head, signalling that I was okay. Smiling at him, I mouth 'Congratulations. Treat her well.' He then smiles back at me, again it was like the sun was beaming down at me, as he mouths 'I will. Thank you for coming.'

Again, I feel my throat tightening. My eyes began to sweat again and I barely held it in as they finally passed the row I was in. I cover my mouth as I rush to the comfort room and lock myself in one of the stalls. All my emotions came pouring out. I cried silently for as long as I needed too, knowing not a lot of people would find me anyways.

After that I went to the celebration where everyone was standing and chatting with each other. Knowing that I look like a mess right now, I stood at a corner sipping champagne to drown my emotions away.

Kiyoko saw me and ran up to me seeing my state and asked if I was alright. I just said I had a hangover and had to throw up. She didn't look like she believed me but didn't push for more details.

"I hope that you'll feel better soon." She hugs me and whispers in my ear.

"Thank you." I hug her back before she excused herself to mingle with the others.

She was hesitant leaving me alone at first, but I literally pushed her away so that she can go have some fun.

I look among the crowds and saw Sugawara again. He was happily chatting with someone with his lovely wife right beside him. They look so happy and in love. I probably would be too if I got married to the literal sun.

I take one last chug and glance at him. The first and the last love of my life, Koshi Sugawara. All this I whisper silently, only to be heard by me alone, as I gaze at his form.

"Be happy. Enjoy life. Stop worrying so much about others and worry about yourself. Your wife looks so lovely with you, I really can't compete." I take a deep breath to steady myself. "I don't have the right to say this to you, especially just after you got married, but I regret not telling you this way earlier. I just feel like I can't move on without telling you this... I love you, Koshi Sugawara. I love you more than you ever know."

There I said it. Not to anyone, not to him, only to myself. I finally admitted it after so long of hiding. Now I can finally be free. It's going to hurt for a long while but... somehow I feel like I can move on now.

I exit the reception without saying anything with a smile on my face.

~

Not gonna lie. This one hurt to write.

HEAVILY INSPIRED by that one Jollibee advertisment.

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