𝙰𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 ➳ [𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝙺𝚞𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚊 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄: 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳] 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎: 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙲𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚜

TW: This chapter will contain themes strongly surrounding pregnancy, depression, and self harm. The scenes containing self harm will have warnings, but as pregnancy and depression are main parts of the story, there will be no warning for those elements. If you are not comfortable with pregnancy or depression, please refrain from reading.

~—~

"Leon, I gotta run to Donut Land, I left something there that I need!" I shouted. I was lying. There was nothing I needed. From Donut Land, at least.

"Okay, bye babe!" replied Leon, from the shower. I took the condom with me and deposited it in the outside trash can so Leon wouldn't find it. I made it to my car and hyperventilated. Fuck, I thought, I can't be pregnant, I can't, I won't be, FUCK!!! I sped to the nearest Walmart, which wasn't near at all, and sat in the parking lot for fifteen minutes. I saved the remainder of my panicking for later and summoned the courage to walk inside the store. I found a pregnancy test, and without buying it, I went inside the bathroom, took it out of the package, and locked myself in a stall. It said to pee on the strip, wait five minutes, and check the color. Blue means pregnant, red means not pregnant. I peed on the little pregnancy strip, and while I waited, I texted Aoi.

You: Aoi.
Aoi: what
You: depending on something that may or may not happen in five minutes, i may or may not need you to meet me at donut land in twenty minutes
Aoi: fuck what happened
You: *what may or may not happen
Aoi: yea whatever just tell me whats wrong
You: so
You: basically
You: um
Aoi: spit it out bitch
You: the condom me and leon used kinda broke and i may or may not be pregnant right now and thats what im waiting on so yea
Aoi: fuck

After an intense amount of sweating and five grueling minutes, I put down my phone and checked the strip. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Let me check the box again, I thought, maybe I got the colors wrong. Maybe red means pregnant? No. Blue definitely means pregnant. But it still could be wrong. Plenty of people get incorrect results. Plenty of people get incorrect results. God, I fucking hope plenty of people get incorrect results.

You: meet me at Donut Land
Aoi: shit

I flushed the test down the toilet and waked to the checkout counter, empty box in hand. I gave the box to the cashier, a boy who looked about my age.

"Um, I'm just buying this, and then a box of cigarettes," I said.

"I can't give you cigarettes," he said, "I could lose my job."

"Listen here..." I began as I read his nametag. His name was Dan. "...Dan. I just took this pregnancy test and found out I'm pregnant. I'm anxious, and frankly terrified, and I need a goddamn cigarette. So you're gonna scan the cigarettes, put them in the bag, and I'm gonna pay for them, got it?"

"Doesn't that seem counterintuitive?" he replied. "Ya know, cigarettes when you're pregnant?"

"Put the cigarettes in the bag, Dan," I grimaced. He reluctantly placed them in the plastic grocery bag. "Good job, Dan. Here," I began as I handed him a small sheet of paper, "you can have my number. Call me and I'll return the favor. I'll...I dunno...give you a handjob or something." He looked shocked.

"Bye?" he said as I walked out of the door.

"See ya, Dan!" I shouted. I didn't know what had gotten into me back there. I was way more assertive than usual. Maybe that's just how I am when I find out I'm pregnant. I lit one of the cigarettes and rode off to Donut Land.

~—~

"So you're a smoker now, huh?" joked Aoi as she sat in the passenger seat of my car. We were in a parking spot in front of Donut Land, the light from the restaurant being the only thing illuminating the car. It was raining hard, and the water streaming down the windshield distorted the image of the storefront to a blurry illustration.