𝙰𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 ➳ [𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝙺𝚞𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚊 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄: 𝚁𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳] 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚘: 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

TW: This chapter will contain themes strongly surrounding pregnancy, depression, and self harm. The scenes containing self harm will have warnings, but as pregnancy and depression are main parts of the story, there will be no warning for those elements. If you are not comfortable with pregnancy or depression, please refrain from reading.

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The next thing I knew was that I was in a hospital and I was screaming. I felt like someone was sawing me in half. I scrunched up my eyes, I was too afraid to look down. There was an intense ringing in both of my ears, and I couldn't hear anything going on around me. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and the sweat pouring out of every part of my body. Then I felt breath on the side of my face, followed by someone screaming into my ear. It was Leon.

"Push, goddammit!" he screamed. "Fucking push!"

"I can't!" I wailed through the distorted environment.

"Fuck, you almost killed the baby, and now you're not gonna fucking push?" he screamed at me. "Push, you bitch! Push!"

"Sir, we may have to remove you from the room," I heard someone say.

"You're not fucking removing me!" shouted Leon.

"What is happening?" I asked, sobbing. I tried opening my eyes, only to be greeted by a bright light assaulting my senses. I tried lifting my head to look at my abdomen, where it hurt. There was blood everywhere. Sprayed on the walls, on the people I assumed to be doctors. I screamed at the gory sight, terrified for my life, and the baby. I saw Leon screaming and subsequently being dragged out my two doctors.

"You bitch! You tried to kill my fucking baby!" he screamed before being dragged out of earshot.

"(Y/N), you need to push!" screamed one of the doctors.

"I'm trying!" I cried, I was starting to see dark spots, my vision blurred.

"We need an epidural!" shouted one of the doctors, a tear falling out of her eye despite her maintained fierce consonance.

"Am I gonna die?" I asked. I received no answer. Instead I was greeted by a sharp sting in the center of my back, and then more orders to push. It was easier now, and I pushed harder, but I looked down and I only saw more and more blood pouring out of me. It flowed so much that it covered most of the floor. I felt hazy. I was seeing less and less.

"We need to do an emergency c-section!" another doctor shouted, through tears. I clenched onto the bedsheets and prayed. I closed my eyes, and I asked god, if he existed, to please help. To let my baby live. I didn't feel them cut into me, I just felt pushing and pulling inside of me. I felt them pull something out. One doctor ran out crying. They brought me a bundle of blankets with a small, red baby inside. She was too small, too red. Covered in blood. Not moving.

"She was stillborn," the doctor said through choked up tears. "I'm sorry for your loss." I held the baby and stared. I felt numb. I didn't understand. I started to tear up but I was too shocked to cry. The tears just fell.

"L-Lilac?" I spoke into the air, hoping they would make her wake up, move a finger, anything. Anything. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and began to sob. "I'm so sorry." And then Leon came back.

"You killed my fucking baby!" he screamed as he came over to me.

"Leon, I'm sorr—" I began, before he slapped me. Three times.

"I ought to kill you, you fucking cunt!" he screamed. "You killed my fucking baby! You killed her!"

"LILAC! LEON!" I woke up screaming and crying. Leon had been by my side, in his boxers, holding me.