𝙰𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 ➳ [𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗 𝙺𝚞𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚊 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎: 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝙸 𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚘 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝

Aoi: WHATTT??????
Sakura: This is...out of the ordinary.
You: it wasnt a big deal we were both drunk
Aoi: STILL U KISSED NDHDJDJD OMG
You: shut up >:(
Aoi: lets meet at donut land after school
You: k
Sakura: Alright.

I was walking from my car to class. It was kind of a long walk, student parking to my class's building is three buildings down, and my actual class is on the eighth floor. We have a huge fucking school. The walk to class always gave me time to think. But now, all I could think about was the the kiss. Was it a drunken mistake, did it mean something, I had no idea. But, there was one lingering thought. I enjoyed it. It felt so wrong considering how fast he left after, but the kiss itself felt so right. I finally had something good in my life, even something I had control over. Someone I could trust. Everything up until now just showed me that I'm alone. But now, I think I found the light at the end of the tunnel.

I walked into class. Since it was exam week, everyone was supposed to show up but this time the teacher was missing. I went to go talk to Leon about...the kiss. I sat down at the desk next to him.

"So, uh..." I began awkwardly. I had suddenly froze. It was like I tucked all of those feelings I was just feeling away. Force of habit.

"Yeah..." he continued.

Oh no, I thought, did he think the kiss was a mistake? He doesn't seem happy about it. I need to just forget about it. It was nothing. Those were just stupid feeli—shit. I'm overreacting.

"I don't really know what that was," I explained, "I mean we were both kinda drunk, and we didn't even know what was going on..."

"Yeah," he said, the melancholy look manifesting on both of our faces.

"So do we just...forget about it?" I asked.

"Yea—" he was cut off.

"Aw, on another date?" Mondo interrupted as he walked to his desk.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I said harshly. I could feel the walls begin to crumble.

"You heard me. Everyone knows," said Mondo. I turned to Leon.

"What the fuck did you tell everyone?" I asked. Before he had a chance to say anything, I said, "You know what? Forget it." I ran out of the room and straight to the bathroom. I had never felt more betrayed. I thought that we were friends who made a mistake, maybe we even had a spark and could have been together, but all that time, I was just someone to brag about. Someone to tell your friends about. Someone to talk about and say "yeah I made out with her and then I left" or "yeah she didn't even go that far, fuckin' tease" or even lie and say "yeah we got pretty far, who would've thought I could get her." I felt insulted, enraged, sad, I couldn't keep it in anymore. I had lost control over the one thing I thought I had control over in my life, my emotions were out for the world to see. The same thing that happened all my life, my emotions were ignored, my control taken away, my sanity diminished.

I stayed in the bathroom for a very long time. I didn't know what to do. I just studied the walls of the stalls, the perverted words on them and the strange texture of the material of the wall. I noticed the mysterious stain on the floor and how the grout between the tiles was...darker in the stall than it was outside. I noticed the sinks, how one mirror was completely gone and the rest were stained, there was no bag of soap in the soap dispenser, and the urinals were dirt—WHAT? URINALS? That's when I realized I was in the boy's bathroom. Exams are tomorrow, my crush bragged to the school about our date, and now I'm crying in the boy's bathroom. Fuck.

I ran out of the school as fast as I could. I got in my car, drove to my apartment, and sank into my bed. I wanted to die. I wanted to suffocate. The one person I thought cared about my in the way I needed crushed me. Someone I cared about. Someone I used to care about.