you just can't be replaced | unfinished + unedited

tuck my hair behind my ears

*jakes pov*

after ordering the chinese and picking the movie i get up to go in the bathroom. i walk in and lock the door behind me and walk up to the sink and mirror. "you got this jake, stay calm" i whisper softly to myself while shaking my hands and stretching my neck from side to side to calm down. i can't let my nerves get the best of me, she needs me, she needs my support, i'm not gonna ruin anything, we've been so good lately, i can't let my feelings take over.
a minute or two later i step out of the bathroom and head back to the living room to find amy setting up place mats on the coffee table and putting pillows on the floor to sit. "nice set up, very amy" i chuckle walking to the kitchen instead. "utensils?" i ask pointing to the drawers. "top left one" she says walking to the kitchen and getting the water pitcher out of the fridge. i take them out and place them onto the place mats. "i cant wait to eat im ravenous" she exclaims while getting two glasses. "okay smarty pants, you know you can just say hungry" i laugh "but im ravenous too" i add on still laughing. she places the cups down then playfully hits my shoulder and calls me an idiot. we've always been so goofy together, we've always been super close, its one of the things i love about us. while amy heads back to the kitchen i find my mind wandering, thinking about the moments we've been having, the office expo, the hugs, calling her ames, there's been so many, if i didn't know any better id say she has feelings for me... but she's going through a lot, she has always been playful towards me, we've always been close, so it could be nothing. but what if its not, what if this is more then just friendship. jake stop, you cant let your feelings take over, amy needs you. she needs support. i quickly stop myself from spiralling any further as amy walks back in with two glasses of wine and hands one to me. "thanks santiago, this is nice" i smile lightly and take a sip of the red wine. she smiles and takes a sip '"this will get us going" she says jokingly while laughing. "this will get us going tittle of our sex tape" i say then realize i said our "your sex tape! tittle of YOUR sex tape" i quickly say before she has time to say anything else. shit, i cant believe i said that.

*amys pov*

that was a little weird but i decide to laugh it off. he said our sex tape, meaning he thinks of us as more than friends, but he could have easily just messed up his sentence, there's no reason to over think this, unless he meant to say our, unless he does think of me as more than a friend. the doorbell rings, like i got saved by the bell. "that was fast" peralta says checking the time on his watch. i quickly put my glass down and grab my wallet while heading to the door. i open it and i greet the delivery guy. he hands me the paper bag of food and i quickly set it on the kitchen island than take out my debit card. "30.67 please" he says and i motion towards my card implying that the card is my payment method, he quickly takes out his machine and enters the amount needed and hands it to me. i tap my card then grab the receipt handing the machine back out to the guy. i thank him then close the door. "okay peralta" i say grabbing the bag and bringing it to the living room "lets see if you picked well" i add while opening the bag and placing all the little boxes on the coffee table. "you gotta admit, it smells great" he says smiling with pride about his choices. "ill give you that, it does indeed smell amazing" i say sitting onto one of the pillows i had placed down, he joins me. i open up the tv and select netflix. "okayyy back to the future, here we come" right as im about to press play jake stops me "hey ames?" he says in a soft tone looking at me nervously. i nod back at him "youre amazing and... and youre really strong and im really proud of you for everything you've over come and how with everything you've been through, youre still thriving and living life, thats one of the reasons why i-" he stops himself, one of the reasons he what? so many possibilities on how that sentence could be finished, still i blush and tuck my hair behind my ears and smile. "thank you jake, that truly means the world to me, thank you for being here for me and not letting me be here alone, thank you for noticing my strength. and you've been such a sweetheart and my number one supporter so thank you for that and thank you for staying soft with me" i smile lightly, slightly blushing. he's making me feel so loved, he makes me feel so safe and making me feel like im not alone. its like with him time stops, with him i can be myself, we can be goofy, we can be soft, we can... holy shit. do i have feelings for him? what is happening. these feelings are new, well actually are they? we've been like this since way before that bet of who can catch the most bad guys, but since the expo its like there's something more. jeez, have we always been this flirty, have we always been like this. i start to spiral lightly and zone out for a second. "ames? are you okay?" jake asks me softly and i quickly snap out of it. "yes sorry, i think i just had a really long hard day and im a little exhausted" i say, which technically is true, today has been one of the hardest days of my life, i dont have time to spiral over jake, i need to take care of myself, i need to get through this, i need to do one thing at a time. but jake, i cant do this without him, i cant get through this without him by my side. he makes me feel safe. "i totally get that, today has been hectic, want me to go home so you can sleep?" he asks in a soft tone. "no, please dont leave, i need you" i look at him while my eyes begin to water. "sorry i dont know why im crying, im just a little overwhelmed" i start to sniffle lightly, then jake pulls himself closer to me pulling me into a hug. "its okay, your emotions are valid and important you should let them out" he rubs my back softly then pulls out of the hug. although i could stay in his arms forever, i feel so secure. i wipe my tears and smile lightly, his words really get to me. "lets eat, you need some food in your system butthead" jake says pointing towards the food with a smile. "youre the butthead, you butthead" i laugh and start taking some food out of the boxes and press play on the movie.

*jakes pov*

after eating and cleaning up the mess of food on the coffee table we are about half way through the first movie. we sit on the couch finishing the movie. we keep having moments, its little ones, like a look here and there, a few sweet words, but the moments are there, the moments are engraved in my heart. "want to start the second one" amy checks the time, its only eight o'clock. i nod "hell yeah lets do it" i smile while she fiddles with the remote selecting the second movie. as we sit nearby each other our arms barely touch, oh what id do to be next to her, hugging her. mid way through the second movie i notice amy twitching her leg and acting a little off, i turn to her "you okay ames?" i ask, i wanna make sure she's okay, always. she shrugs lightly "i dont know, i just suddenly feel panicky and unsettled" she says in a shaking voice. suddenly all the nerves ive been having a night fly out the window, she's not okay and thats all that matters, she needs me and i won't let anything get in the way of that. i open up my arms and motion for her to scoot over to me with my head and she does, she lays her head on my thigh and i begin to play with her hair lightly to comfort her. "youre okay, youre safe, im right here and im not going anywhere, ever" i say softly still playing with her hair, its so soft and feels so nice between my fingers. the nerves come back slowly while the creep up on me but i do my best to ignore them, amy needs me right now, thats all that matters.

-jj