Lacuna . k.sj.

22

Warning: Mention of suicide attempt !

They all hoped to have their cheerful and happy hyung back even if it meant that they had to wait for an eternity.

The day of Jin's therapy arrived and to say that he was nervous would be an understatement, his heart was beating extremely fast and his palms were getting sweaty. He couldn't sleep a wink the previous night because he kept thinking about his therapy session.

Jungkook and Yoongi entered Jin's room to inform him that there was only an hour left till the session and that he should wash up and get ready.

Jin heaved a long sigh when Jungkook and Yoongi went back to the waiting room, he was stressing out so much that he was starting to feel dizzy.

Jin ignored his sudden dizziness and got up from his bed to get ready.

*Time Skip*

Jin was now walking towards the therapist's office , accompanied by Namjoon.
"Hyung, are you feeling okay?" Asked Namjoon, concern evident in his voice.

"Y-yes...I'm fine." Replied Jin , feeling uneasy.

"Don't worry Jin-hyung, you will be fine. I've done some research and found out that your therapist is really nice and patient."

Seok-jin was a bit relieved after hearing this but his heart was still beating like crazy, he really didn't want to go to the session but he wanted to get better for his members and fans.
The only thought he had in mind was that he should be better soon so that he can perform again, practice more and eat less . He knew that his thoughts were wrong but he couldn't help but feel like a burden who kept holding the boys back .

"-ung? Seokjin-hyung...?"
Jin's thoughts were interrupted by Namjoon
"Huh..? What?"
"Hyung , we are here. Let's go inside now." Namjoon replied calmly as he knocked on the door of the therapist's office.
Seok-jin took a deep breath and went inside the office when they heard a faint "come in" .

The first thing Jin noticed in the therapist's office was that there were a lot of beautiful potted plants kept on the shelves and windowsills, it made him feel calm and comfortable.

                 *Jin's POV *

"Hello, you must be Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon. Am I right?" Asked the therapist. She looked like a very cheerful and happy person with big doe eyes and short black hair tied up in a ponytail.
"Oh, yes. I'm Kim Namjoon said he is Seokjin. Hyung has been advised to come and visit you today by his doctor. Please take good care of him." Replied Namjoon .

I nodded my head and bowed politely.
" Of course. Please come and sit here."

The lady indicated towards me, I hesitantly went and sat on the chair infront of her.
"Should I wait outside?" Asked Namjoon , rubbing my back to calm me down.
"Yes please.  I'll let you know if you are needed here. Are you comfortable in here Mr Kim? Will you be okay with being alone with me?" The therapist asked
Jin looked at Namjoon uncertainly and he smiled at him encouragingly, his dimples on full display.

Jin took a deep breath and said," I...I guess I'm fine with being alone but please let him wait outside."
"Of course. I'll call Mr Namjoon whenever you want." Replied the therapist calmly.

Namjoon gave Jin's shoulder a gentle pat and went outside.

"So, would you like to introduce yourself ?" Asked the therapist with an encouraging smile.
"Ok.
I am Kim SeokJin, the oldest m-member of Bangtan Sonyeondan .
I'm 26 y-years old ."
Jin replied nervously

"Good. Now please tell me about your worries and concerns and try to be as honest as possible."

Seokjin was now fiddling with his fingers, he was really nervous, but he tried to calm himself down and said,"I-I I am...I feel like I'm not doing a g-good job being an idol or an older brother to the members..."

"Do you feel like this often?" Asked the therapist, taking out her clipboard.
"Y-yes...." Jin replied weakly, he was now really scared. He didn't want to open up to her at all.
"Mr Kim, your record shows that you tried to end your life once. Am I right? Would you​ like to talk about it?"

The therapist was now asking really hard questions and Jin felt  suffocated, his head was pounding and he was feeling pretty dizzy too.
He suddenly felt as if he was being drowned, his lungs were on fire and he was coughing and choking.

He heard the therapist trying to calm him down but that was not working as he felt like a thousand knives were stabbing him repeatedly.

*Namjoon's POV*

I was waiting outside the therapist's office when I suddenly heard loud voices inside the room, suddenly the door flew open and the therapist motioned me to come inside.

I did as I was told and the sight before me was not pleasant at all,Jin-hyung was writhing and crying in agony as he clawed at his throat repeatedly.

I instantly understood that he was having a panic attack so, I rushed towards him and scooped him up in my arms as I gently whispered sweet and encouraging words in his ear.
I also took his delicate hand in mine and placed it on my chest,  trying to help him breathe properly.
 
After a while I noticed that Jin-hyung was trying really hard to breathe so, I took deep breaths in and exhaled to guide him.

He was now breathing pretty well and the therapist returned with a glass of water in her hand , I gave it to my hyung and watched as he drank it slowly.

After drinking, he is now resting his head on my chest as I rocked him back and forth.  It was traumatizing to see Jin-hyung struggling so much, I don't know how to tell the boys about this. We must be extra cautious and gentle with hyung .

I vowed to myself that I'll help and be there for Jin-hyung whenever he needs me to.

_______________________________________
  
                  *Time Skip*

After talking to the therapist , Namjoon decided that it was time to go back home.
He looked at Seokjin who was sleeping on the big couch and smiled, he looked so peaceful and comfortable.
Namjoon just wanted his hyung to feel better. His trail of thoughts were cut off by the therapist
"You may take him back to the hospital room,  Mr Namjoon. We can continue the session when he feels better. I recommend you to not force him if he is not ready to open up." The therapist said firmly.
Namjoon nodded his head and carried Seokjin in his arms.

He couldn't stop thinking about Jin's panic attack , he felt guilty about letting him go to therapy without making sure that he was fine with it.  He knew that Seokjin would never say no to the therapy as he wanted to get better,  but he was not ready yet. 

Namjoon promised to himself that he'll talk to Jin and make him feel comfortable enough to continue his therapy.

He missed his happy, cheerful and confident Jin-hyung very much but Namjoon knew that it was their time to help their hyung as it was always Jin who looked after them .

Namjoon and the members would do anything to make Jin feel happy and loved .

______________________________________

Hi guys!
This was a pretty short  chapter but I promise to make the next one longer.

Thanks for reading this chapter!

Do point out my mistakes in the comments if you notice any.

Please do vote and comment . It makes me very happy :)

Love you all so much ❤️

Stay safe

Bye

~💜~