RUNNING WITH WOLVES remus lupin

OO2. 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

𝐓 𝐖 𝐎

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

REMUS WAS TRYING TO COMPOSE HIMSELF. But as minutes passed by. It was becoming more and more difficult. But he simply had to get a hold of himself. He was her teacher! But moony was determined to fight him.

Remus stood in his office, pacing back and forth throughout the small room. His brow was furrowed, and his fists were clenched, and he looked as though he was physically in pain, his red-rimmed eyes staring ahead of him and barely casting the things he passed a fleeting glance.

After a moment, Remus stopped and sat down heavily in his office chair, burying his face in his hands. He leaned back, pressing the back of his head into the upholstery. The wolf inside him is pretty much forcing him to try to seek her out.

It's taking everything in him not to go to her. To keep her safe and remove anyone in his way.

mine. mine. mine.

Moony repeats the mantra to him once again. He lets out a growl in frustration. No. He tries to tell himself. He needs to calm down. With the wave of his hand, he locks the door. No longer trusting himself.

At a young age, he rejected his own body, claimed no ownership over it, and dismissed it as anything that needed to be taken care of. He learned control. He separated himself from moony. Learning to suppress the instincts that pushed him daily.

Which was making it hard to understand why it was so difficult now. It's hard enough to be a werewolf in society. A society that fears greatly when faced with something they can't or won't try to understand. He soon separated his mind from his physical being so that he could survive.

For him, it was bad. He could function without becoming like fenrir greyback.

But it also made him an incredibly lonely and pained human being. At the time, he didn't care, that came much later, but it was difficult and the worst part of it was that he was alone.

Never in his lifetime did he ever believe he'd find his mate. Nor did he long for one. Sure, he's had casual flings with female werewolves and male wizards he would meet. But it was nothing more than that.

But now he has a... Mate. Not only is she human, but his student! Which will make everything harder. But he will control this. She'll never have to know. He won't burden her with this.

She shouldn't have to be stuck with me...

The full moon would be up in three days' time, and Remus knew that it was far too soon to deal with this topic.

If he hadn't accepted dumbledore about this position. This whole thing wouldn't have happened. A grimace appears on his face, remembering the day he accepted.

𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠. . .

The sun was bright as Remus Lupin made his way downstairs that morning. It was certain to be a good day. He smiled and opened the front door to retrieve the Daily Prophet from his doorstep. Carrying the newspaper inside and closing the door behind him, Remus casually flipped open the paper and glanced at the headline.

He instantly froze in place, a gasp escaping his throat as he read the headline again, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

Quickly coming back to his senses, he went to his office and grabbed up his quill. It took a moment to find a clean piece of parchment as he fumbled through the drawers. 𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙪𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩, he thought. When he found what he wanted, he rapidly scribbled out a response to the question that had been weighing on his mind for days now.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I accept your offer to serve in the position as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for the next school year. I saw today's headline and understand now why you need me there. I will arrive after the full moon on the first day of term.

Remus Lupin

He sent the letter off right away. It all suddenly made sense to him.

Later that day, Remus sat at his desk and ran his hand over the Daily Prophet's front page again, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. The headline, while shocking to most people, brought an understanding to Remus that others didn't have. This was why his new employer had sought him out so diligently. This was why he was needed at Hogwarts.

𝖲𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗎𝗌 𝖡𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖫𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖠𝗓𝗄𝖺𝖻𝖺𝗇

No wonder Dumbledore, who had probably been one of the first informed about Sirius' escape, had pressed the issue of Remus joining the staff. Truly concerned for his students, Dumbledore had sought out the one person who might be able to understand the mind of Sirius Black. But Remus didn't really understand Sirius. He used to, but that was before Sirius had shown his true loyalties to Voldemort.

Remus shook his head and leaned over the desk, resting his head in his hands. 𝙒𝙝𝙮, 𝙎𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙪𝙨, he thought. 𝙒𝙝𝙮? He looked over at the photograph of the four of them he still had placed on the mantle. They were so happy, so young, and so unaware of how fleeting happiness was. Remus had kept the picture, not to torture himself, but to serve as a reminder that you can never be too careful about whom you can trust.

𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠. . .

Remus sighed heavily. Heaven knows they had gone over it about a million times. He had spent his whole life convincing himself that it was impossible for him to lead a normal life.

There were many problems to consider, and he pointed out another one in the hope that Dumbledore would soon give up on him and accept that having a werewolf as a teacher was indeed a bad idea. The transformations, without the Wolfsbane Potion. He could end up being a danger to the students.

Sure, he had been taking the Wolfsbane Potion for quite some time now, but it's very difficult to make. So difficult, in fact, that he, himself, was unable to prepare it.

Dumbledore, of course, had no idea that there were more dangerous times than Remus cared to admit. Even more frightening was the fact that he had laughed about some of them afterward.

No one got hurt, but there had been so many chances that it still bothered him to think about it. It was youthful recklessness and a desire to fit in that ruled him then. He was not about to make the same mistakes again.

Not when it concerned her. Or any student for that matter. It was a complication that Remus hadn't foreseen. His... mate. It's going to be difficult, too.

There would be unavoidable times where they would be in the same room. If unavoidable, he would see her everywhere he went... he was sure of it.

Remus found himself feeling foolish for accepting the offer. But here he was in a situation he couldn't control.