I'm an idiot || Soukoku [complete]

6.

warning: I already said this at the start of the story, but there's gonna be a lot of triggering topics (suicide, cutting, blood...) mentioned in this chapter, please be careful

3rd person's pov

Chuuya's eyes slightly flinched, when a ray of sun shined at him. he slowly sat up, stretching and yawning.

His head felt heavy and sore, he looked at the table and noticed a bottle of wine, empty one.

fuck, I probably drank most of it,- Chuuya silently cursed. He remembered the last day like a blur, it was fine till Dazai called him. He fully remembered how they were on that bridge, but what happened when they got here?

Chuuya got up, and noticed that he still wore the same clothes as yesterday. Thank god. The living room looked the same as last night, Dazai was probably in another room.

Chuuya glanced at halfly open doors, but it was the kitchen.

then his bedroom is here,- he walked over to a second door, that was closed.

Chuuya quietly opened it and saw Dazai sleeping, on a big bed in the middle of the room, it was all painfully white, like a hotel room.

Should I wake him up, or just go out now?..- Chuuya tried to decide.- fine, I'll wake him, but then go out immediately.

The ginger walked closer to Dazai and slightly pushed his shoulder, that was covered with a blanket.

- Dazai, wake up,- Chuuya pushed him again.

- huh? Chuuya?- Dazai slightly opened his eyes.- oh, yeah... Good morning then.

Dazai sat up, and the blanket fell off of him, suddenly Chuuya froze on spot, staring at Dazai, terrified.

- D-Dazai, what is this,- Chuuya kneeled down on the ground, and stuttered from confusion.

Chuuya carefully grabbed Dazai's wrist, shakingly holding it in his hand.

- What is this?!- Chuuya raised his voice, but it broke from tears forming in his eyes.

Chuuya stared at Dazai's eyes, that were running around, not knowing where to focus. Dazai slept without his shirt, also he had removed his bandages, that he always wore. Ever since the blanket fell off his shoulders, Chuuya could see his hands and chest.

The redhead's eyes widened even more, when he traced his eyes up, looking at all the scars that were on Dazai's, hands, shoulders, wrists and chest.

Mostly they were clean, straight lines, healed to a white or pink scar, you could feel them if you ran your fingers on Dazai's skin. But there were worse ones. on his wrists, in the inside of his elbow, on his chest, collarbone, there were messy ones. Big, forced cuts, that were deep and the healed skin on them was wrinkled and dark pink.

The worst and the fresh one, was on his wrists, the scar that Chuuya focused on. it was healed, but still red and you could see smaller cuts on top of it, like he tried to open it again.

- it's nothing,- Dazai put on a sad smile and moved his hand away, covering it with the blanket again.- let's pretend you didn't see this.

- what?! no! this is serious, Dazai!- Chuuya shouted at him and sat on the edge of the bed.- Fuck, Dazai, why did you never tell me?!

- I told you it's nothing,- Dazai slightly flinched.

- But why?! I-I never thought you were serious! Dazai, why did you never tell me?!- Chuuya felt a tear running down his cheek, but he already had hard time forming sentences, it didn't matter now.