The Dividing Line: ABSOLUTION #COMPLETED (Book 3)

22 ѱ GUILT (BWWM)

(Thursday, 08/08/2019 1:17 am)

ANGEL

In the midst of her sorry, all she craved was to go home. The hospital was no place to get lost in thought about life, loss, and love. The place was far too cold and drab to foster positivity and hope. Angel found it damn near impossible to seek out the good as she sat in the middle of the bed.

     In truth, Andel felt she just might lose her mind looking at the dull, dead colors of the ceiling and the walls day after day.

     Recently, she found herself often questioning her sanity. Angel had previously known better than to embark on this journey with him. Her decision to ignore everything she grew up witnessing about people like him did nothing to impact how he made her feel. It wasn't about the things he showed her in bed. Cole treated her like she was the most important person in his life.

     At first, he was so skittish of her. Angel found it interesting that a man who looked like he could tear down a mountain with his bare hands always seemed unsure of her. His noticeable battle between how he felt when he first opened his eyes and how he reacted as time went on helped her realize that he was struggling to understand his situation. He didn't lash out or disrespect her. Pretty soon, it seemed as if some strange force sent him to her.

     Cole replaced the loss that she always felt with an appreciation for the closeness of being around another person. She found joy in cooking for him, reading to him, and talking about whatever he cared to discuss. Those small interactions taught her that she had missed out on so much.

     When their relationship became physical, Cole never let a day go by without telling her how much he desired and cared for her. What they had wasn't forced, and it didn't require any labels. They simply enjoyed one another. Care became love, and before she knew what hit her, Angel couldn't imagine living her life without Cole in it.

     Though she once feared Cole, Angel accepted him and all the horrible things he had once allowed someone to mark on his body. She saw something broken in him, and being the person she was; she needed to fix it. Little did she know that she was just as broken as he was, and they somehow managed to heal so much in one another.

     The multiple lessons she learned as a child and a young adult came rushing forward to confront her as she sat and tried to rationalize her relationship with Cole.

     Growing up in a rural community taught her there were people she should never trust. Numerous black men and black women were accosted and harassed because they were black. She even recalled a case of one man who was beaten, dragged, and hung because he walked by some white boys who stated the man, who was old enough to be their father, didn't properly greet them.

     Years earlier, several members of her family referred to Caucasians as white devils. They insisted that a white person wasn't trustworthy under any circumstances. Had it not been for the love of Almighty God in her grandmother, she would have believed what those people in her family told her.

     When she selected that remote location in Arkansas, she had no intentions of meeting anyone. Angel had already planned to leave this world behind. Her heart ached was far greater than she could handle, so she reasoned that it would be best to end it all. She wished to close her eyes and open them to find KB by her side.

     Back then, there wasn't a man or woman alive who could convince her that her plan was flawed until she received a visit from her grandmother accompanied by KB.

     Once she encountered their presence, she needed to get herself together so their spirits could rest and move on without being tethered to the mess she had created for herself.