Fatal Justice

† Chapter Fourteen †

Battles with oneself are all lost. 

He thought he knew pain. 

He was wrong. 

Every fiber of his being was being burned by acid, his skin melting from his bones, and his lungs were heaving corrupted air through a million holes that suffocated him. He couldn't breathe, he was gasping as his heart died within his chest. But, his vision was surging red with sickening hatred, and he could not be brought back to his humanity. 

He went past the lines of insanity. 

His wolf ripped through his conscience and seized control. In only a matter of seconds, his claws grew twice their length, his fangs sharper, and then he was a blur of horror. Devouring flesh, ripping at bodies, and ravaging everything he could. Destruction was his path, revenge was his goal, and he wouldn't stop. He couldn't hear, he couldn't smell, he just killed. Like a machine. 

Like a monster. 

Bodies fell around him like trees toppling in the force of a horrific hurricane, blood splashed over him like the waves drowning him, and he didn't even blink before launching for the next breathing body. They had stolen everything from him. He would steal it back. If only their beating heart, freshly torn from their chest by his claws, at least he could make them feel some amount of pain; but it would never measure up to what he felt. 

It would never be enough. 

For everything they had done to him, he was finally broken. 

Sutton's terrified face registered in his bloody vision and he latched onto her arm in a breath. Her scream of agony awoke his soul with something bitter and dark and he ripped his head back and forth as her flesh tore into gory strips. Finally, he could take the revenge he desired. Her arm shattered between his jaws and when she passed out, he spit out her flesh in disgust, watching as her body dropped for only a second before he went for the kill. 

Before he could latch onto her throat, someone brutally pushed him aside. His blood was surging with fire and he was moving with the strength of a thousand men. In times like this, he defied every law of gravity. He spun to face Russell, his maw wide open as it awaited more blood, and he wanted to laugh at the pure horror that crossed Russell's face. 

Suddenly, his head snapped to the right. His ears sharply cut through the screams that were raging around him and he could hear paws thundering. He nearly hissed, like a damned snake, as he realized he would soon be outnumbered when the Enforcers arrived. He cast one last cold, promising glance at his pathetic brother and sister. Russell was groveling in the dirt in terror and Sutton was still unconscious. He could have ended it but he didn't have time. Something screamed at him to run as this was the chance he had waited for. 

He snarled before leaping away and then he took off into the forest. He aimed his nose towards the closest borderline and he pushed himself far past his body's limit to outrun his enemies. He wanted nothing more than to end everyone in that pack but he was only one man and his vision was slowly losing its red. His body was shutting down as the full effects of losing his mate hit him. A searing pain rose in his chest, reminding him of his broken heart, and he felt his paws beginning to quake. 

He wouldn't stop. 

Even if it killed him, the last thing he would do is escape this prison. He would do something against their wishes, for once in his life, and he wouldn't give up. Somewhere far away from here, he would meet his death, but not here. He would never rest here. Wolves closed in around him--the patrol--and he evaded them through tight brush that tore at his wounds. He couldn't register any physical pain at the moment, only the internal hell that consumed his soul.

He didn't even know her name. 

That thought lashed through him like a knife in his throat. He struggled to breathe as it got harder with every stride. He hadn't even heard her voice. He had no idea what she sounded like. No idea what her touch felt like--a mate's touch. He never got to experience any of it. All too soon, he lost her to his twisted family. His wolf was howling in his mind and he felt like his skull was going to burst from all the chaos. 

She was just another stranger to him and that probably hurt the worst. He felt salty tears stinging his wounds as they dripped from his fur, trailing down his cheeks, and he could hardly see where he was going. 

He was so lost, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to deal with the pain. His only goal right now was to escape. As he had always dreamed of doing, even though he was leaving a part of himself behind forever.  He didn't have much else to lose because of his childhood but whatever hope he had had died with her. The moment her heart stopped, he was crushed. 

He had nearly died right there with her. 

And he wished had had. 

His vision was fading, going with the agony in his bones, but he could still hear thundering paws chasing him, closing in, and he screamed at himself to stop being so damn weak. For once, he needed to do something for himself and succeed. 

He was close to the border, he could sense it. All his life, he had fallen short, failed, and been shot down...but not now. His agony drove him forward on bleeding paws. He may never get a chance to live again but he was perfectly fine with that. Anywhere but here. 

Finally, after years of trying and failing, he crossed the border.

He didn't even look back, he just kept running with every last ounce of energy in his body because if he paused, he wouldn't be able to keep himself together. Whatever was keeping him together right now would crumble. 

So, he would run until he dropped dead because now he couldn't stop running. He left the Conquistador Pack in the dust, home to his fucked up family, and someday, he would conquer them. As they had done to other small packs, he would wipe them out. That, he promised himself. He would get revenge for this day.

But now, he was nothing more than a rogue who had lost his way. 

No better than a coward. 

※        ※        ※

He finally made it out but definitely not on good terms. 

I don't know why I keep hurting myself and breaking all my characters like this. 

This is a whole new kind of dark for me, though. I'm really digging into raw pain and drawing blood here. I hope I will be proud of this book when I'm done because right now, I just foresee so much darkness and hopelessness. Especially since things aren't about to get better for Joel.